How to cook your, er, Christmas turkey…

And yet another old favourite funny Christmas joke … this time it’s a recipe for roast turkey that may not taste very good, but will certainly give everyone the laugh of the season… bon appétit…

How to cook a Christmas turkey

How to cook a turkey on HowToWriteBetter.net

The essential turkey dinner ingredient. Tip: it tastes better if you remove the feathers prior to roasting.

Step 1: Go get a turkey. (size is not important)

Step 2: Take a drink of whisky.

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven. (Use a pan)

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whisky. (Glass preferred)

Step 5: Set the degree at 200 ovens.

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskys of drink out of bottle.

Step 7: Turn oven the on. [Continue reading]

Funny jokes 4 Xmas: Letters to Santa

christmas jokes letters to santa

Another all time favorite for Christmas humor

Another of my all time favourite giggles at Christmastime…enjoy!

Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend,
WiLLy

Dear Willy,
Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in road sweeping. [Continue reading]

Story time for authors working with book coaches

HTWB Fairy book coach

Once upon a time not a million years ago I had a book marketing client called Miranda. She wrote romantic fiction and had been working with a Fairy Godmother Book Coach (FGBC). Miranda had been paying the FGBC at least GBP £500 (USD nearly $790) … [Continue reading]

The Joy of Books this Christmas

HTWB Xmas book tree

Please welcome Val Rainey, a published author of children's books and other writing, from Alberta, Canada. She will be sharing her tips with us on how to write children's books in 2015, so watch out for the new series starting soon. Over to Val … [Continue reading]

The bad old days of The Corporate Brochure

HTWB pompous 1

Once upon a time there was a piece of print called The Corporate Brochure. Although companies spent thousands upon thousands on these things mainly they were used by intended readers to absorb spilled coffee and prop up wobbly table legs. As pieces … [Continue reading]

The 12 social media days of Christmas

HTWB CocaCola truck

It's high time we reexamine the lyrics to this lovely Christmas song given that the values of partridges in pear trees and even five golden rings have been substantially diminished in recent times. Hence my rewrite of the lyrics here: but please … [Continue reading]

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