19 polite requests to suggest to your cat…

All of us cat owners (I have four) know very well that you can’t impose rules on them – only ask very, very nicely. Here’s a useful list of requests you can make; remember only to ask your cat, respectfully, to bear them in mind – preferably after s/he has eaten plenty of fresh lobster and is enjoying a relaxing wash on your brand new Parker Knoll

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat...

Be sure your cat is in a mellow mood before making these requests…

19 requests to make of your cat, but only politely

1. Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

2. I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

3. If I play “dead cat on the stairs” while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.

4. If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat...

If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

5. The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.

6. If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

7. I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching “The X-Files.”

8. My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat...

Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight me or my lovely tail.

9. Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight me or my lovely tail.

10. The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor.

11. I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat...

I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.

12. I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer.

13. It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.

14. If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat...

If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece.

15. The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.

16. I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.

17. The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat...

The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.

18. If I must give a present to my human’s overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn’t as tasty.

19. As talented as I may be with kitty litter, my human will not be impressed with my attempts to build sand castles in the litter box.

How do you think your cat (or cats) would cope with these requests? Please share!

Comments

comments

Leave a Reply

Thoughts

  1. Most chuckle-worthy, Suze 🙂
    I learned long ago to not even try getting a cat to do as I wish…

    • LOL Babs … I’ve got one that bites you if you ask him to move off the sofa … and if there’s a dog on there and he wants to take its place, he bites the dog. All 4 dogs are terrified of him…

Thoughts

*

css.php