Nothing like a glass of wine
After work, you’re home and dry
Pour your stress right down the line
Well – down your throat, to pacify…
…but trouble is, does it really
Make you feel calm and bright?
Or does it blind your hormones
Into thinking all is right?
Flatters hell out of your ego
After glasses, quite a few
“Hey, there’s nothing I can’t do!”
(Speaks that wine before you spew.)
Someone in my distant past said
Mention something – Latin quote?
They could hit nails on the head
So here is what those Romans wrote.
“In vino veritas,” they stated
When you’re p*ssed you tell the truth
Rude, maybe, and it’s fated
To make us all look so uncouth.
Trouble is as we get older
Wine just makes us seem absurd
Youngster p*ssed on cheap wine – bolder?
Funny – not like us old t*rds.
In the meantime let’s explore those
Literary classics known
Celebrating help for good prose
That we’ve come to call our own.
Ernest Hemingway put over
Thoughts that booze could pave the way
Said “write p*ssed but edit sober”
So, so, true. It saves the day.
In the meantime let’s just love those
Grapes that make our wine so lush
Red or white or rosé close…
…off our minds to daily mush.
And compared with all that’s out there
Pain and politics so vile
Wine deletes our pain points so where
It can help, it does in style.
(NB: much as many of us love our wine,
please remember to drink alcohol responsibly
and never when you’ve got to drive.)
If you enjoyed this, there are dozens more humorous poems and music articles right here on #HTWB …
Excerpted from “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes”
by Suzan St Maur
to be published in 2017
by Corona Books UK
© Suzan St Maur 2017