Ode to the sh… birds

You can’t help admiring wild birds no matter how much they drive you crazy. Here are some humorous thoughts about the little feathered friends who cheer us up every day, even though the calling cards they leave behind can dissolve wooden fences, car paint and probably solid granite as well…

funny poem about garden birds on HTWB

What to do, oh birdie lovers? Tell my cats to kill them now?

THE SH… BIRDS

How I love the birds who go sh…
On my windshield and what’s more
All over my back yard – and yet it
Matters not. I love them all.

Those feathery little b*stards who do
Sit on my fence before the feeder [Read more…]

Business emails 101 – or SOS?

Grabbing email readers’ attention via email – even when you’re not selling anything – gets harder and harder as every year goes by, as you know. Here are some ideas to convert from what may be your concerns as SOSs, into 101s.

business emails on HTWB

Don’t forget that not all email clients show your email in monochrome.

Below are some tips on how to get that attention you need now in the present climate of 2017, without lifting readers out of their very short, sharp comfort zones … then making your points effectively … so you have the best possible chance of getting the reaction you want/need.

Business emails #1: one point at a time

[Read more…]

Valentines Day love from the Grammar Police

You can’t say we don’t celebrate romance here on #HTWB … even the Grammar Police have, er, something to say about Valentine’s Day. If you want an alternative to the schmaltzy goo that permeates February 14th, you’re in the right place. Enjoy.

HTWB Valentines Day humor

Take my heart its yours on a plate. Keep it till you learn how to punctuate.

VALENTINE’S DAY WITH THE GRAMMAR POLICE

Roses are red, violets are blue
That’s just a cliché. Don’t like it? Go scr*w.

Violets is blue, roses is red,
Get noun/verbs together, you puerile d*ckhead.

And roses are red while violets are blue
Don’t start with conjunctions, they’re strictly taboo. [Read more…]

Why FRESH is such a lovely word…

Do you have a favourite word? One that sounds as good as it means? Here’s one you might like to ponder – in verse, of course…on #HTWB

MIschieverse funny poems on HTWB

Fresh is the nip of hunger when you gaze at fruit and veg before you…

FRESH

Isn’t “fresh” a lovely word?
Invigorates your faith in life
Spices up those sounds unheard
Chases out the cobwebs rife. [Read more…]

Grammar goofs: classic syntax attacks by the UK Daily Fail

A quick glance at the UK’s Daily Fail – especially on weekends when they leave the cleaners to write the stories – shows you just how ridiculous you look when you get the noun-verb relationships and other syntax wrong.

HTWB Kenny

“The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star also shared another video clip while walking with her boyfriend Tyga, 27, in the gold one-piece bathing suit.” Tyga, your choice of swimwear is beginning to worry me.

Do you ever do this? Of course not…but just in case you might miss the odd goof, the following will ensure that you never make a tw*t of yourself as these Daily Fail writers do…

The latest grammar goofs from one of the UK’s most “popular” newspapers

Bling: Kim posted this image of the £3.5m ring that was stolen on Instagram before the robbery. I thought the ring was stolen during the robbery? [Read more…]

How to find the writing help you need on #HTWB

With more than 1,200 articles and tutorials on writing here on #HTWB, you may start finding a bit tricky to find what you need. So FYI, here is a breakdown of the most popular categories and specifically how they can help you with your writing.

the writing help you need on HTWB

Not sure where to look for the writing help you need here on #HWTB? This article is a useful guide.

Below all that, you’ll find a selection of the most popular articles with links to them directly. But in the meantime, here are …

Our most popular categories here on #HTWB

[Read more…]

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