More lessons in how to write nonsense, by the UK Daily Fail

Anther cracking selection of syntax and other grammatical howlers from the UK’s favorite Malaprop Daily …

Funny caption about Donald Trump

“…a 2005 recording of the president in which he boasted about grabbing women by the p**** while he thought he was off-camera…”

Why it’s essential to proofread even when you’re in a hurry to publish…

Playful: The Eastenders star was seen to playfully cock her leg for the cameras … so did her dog, Fido.

Michaella flicked her long blonde locks on the beach as she slathered on some lotion to beat the heat … that’ll teach her to use cheap hair extensions. [Read more…]

“How can I become an author?” How we can help…

This question is a lot harder to answer than it is to ask! However here is what I wrote in response to Amelia, who posted on the HTWB Facebook page asking “how can I become an author?”

What additional advice on becoming an author can we give her?

Agony Columns on How To Write BetterPlease share in the comments…and I will delete any that are facetious or rude! Here we go…

Hi Amelia,

[Read more…]

What it’s REALLY like to be a child

In honour of “back to school” time in many countries this week…
Many thanks to the original author of this piece that shares what it was like to be a child back in the dark ages of pre-WWW…of course we’re all too young to remember those days, aren’t we? But read on out of interest, anyway…LOL…

How to tell if you're getting old

We had friends – we went outside and found them.

According to today’s regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s¬†probably shouldn’t have survived, because our baby cots were covered with¬†brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked. [Read more…]

N O – or rather, yes! English business jargon starting with N and O

Are you the sort of person who would take a “no brainer” “on a go forward basis?” Or would you “nuke” the idea and say “not on my watch?” More business and general English jargon, this time from N to O.

More English business jargon demystified on HTWB - this time from N to O

It’s “not rocket science” to be “on the ball” if you wear an “old school tie…”

English business jargon starting with N to O

[Read more…]

Writing business we-wee is bad – but what about me-mee?

As you probably know I am forever advising businesses not to write about how “we” do this and “we” do that, unless they can relate that to how they benefit customers very, very quickly.

Writing about yourself in the first person

If you’re a sole trader, should you write about yourself in the first person?

That’s largely because people writing “we-wee” are too inwardly focused and forget to share with readers what’s in it for them, which in business is critically important. But recently I have been taking a look at websites belonging to, and I assume written by, individual solopreneurs and sole traders. And I have to concede, they have a problem that is harder to solve.

We, me, him, her or who the hell does “me” write as?

[Read more…]

J for jokes right through to M … English business jargon

Would you dare “let the cat out of the bag” or would you do better to “keep a stiff upper lip?” Or would you do some “key smashing” instead?

Business jargon by Suzan St Maur

Do you turn into a “junkyard dog” when a “johnny-come-lately” annoys you with some “jiggery-pokery?”

English business jargon from J to M

Jiggery-pokery: any slightly underhand or potentially suspicious, dishonest activity. A British term, this is said to be variant of the Scottish “joukery-pawkery” from the 19th century. [Read more…]

css.php