Bad day at the office? Cheer yourself up with this guy’s superbly written email…

If you’ve ever whined about having a bad day at work, this story should shut you up once and for all. The original author is unknown but whoever you are, thank you for sharing, and I hope to Heaven that you never experience this drama again…

Bill is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an email he sent to his cousin. She then sent it to a radio station in Indiana which was sponsoring a “worst job experience” contest. Needless to say, she won. Here’s why…

Hi Kelly,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling cousin.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize yours is not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel-powered  industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darned good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit.  This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi!

Everything was going well this particular day until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now:  repeat to yourself, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job…….”

Love, Bill.

Still p*ssed off about your “boring” job? Don’t know about you, but I won’t ever complain about my job again…

More laughs – and they’re useful, too:

“The English Language Joke book”…hundreds of laughs about this crazy language of ours

“Banana Skin Words and how not to slip on them”…over 1,500 spelling and grammar tips to perfect your written English

“English to English: the A to Z of British-American translations”…more than 2,000 business and social terms from the USA, the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand

 

photo credit: SLU Madrid Campus via photo pin cc

Comments

comments

Thoughts

  1. This still makes me smile.

    “Yes, I love my job” … there’s commitment for you

  2. Isn’t it superb? And to think the poor man didn’t get any sympathy from his colleagues!

  3. I’m speechless on this! Laugh yes but I feel for ‘you’ 🙂 Jellyfish … lol!

    Okay just got to share this. Definitely!

    Thanks for sharing and making my day, a much better one 🙂

    Reginald

  4. That really made me laugh!! Poor guy… 😮

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