How to make a small fortune out of horses…

…start with a large fortune…!

If you or someone you know loves – or possibly hates – horses, here are some excerpts from an evergreen little book I wrote, The Horse Lover’s Joke Book and its younger sibling, The Pony Lover’s Joke Book. Some are old favourites, but many of them are original, written by moi.

Funny stories and jokes about ponies and horses

Suze and friend (Suze is on the right…) as drawn by caricaturist Simon Ellinas.

Given that there are more than 3 million privately owned horses and ponies in Britain alone, with many of their owners working two jobs to keep the little darlings in comfort, these excerpts will resonate with at least one or two of your friends and acquaintances. Feel free to print this out and share over coffee and cake with them!

Choices
“Why the sad face?” asked one of two riders out on a hack.
“My husband says I have to choose between him and my mare,” replied the second rider.
“Gosh, I’m sorry,” commented the first rider.
“So am I,” replied the second rider. “I’m really going to miss him.” [Read more…]

My secret writing hobbies … I’ve been outed, from rude poems to horses

It all started a few years ago when a friend asked me to write a poem for his father-of-the-bride speech about his son-in-law-to-be, whom he loathed.

Rude poems from Suzan St Maur

Limericks are not my forte: rude poetry is.

I wrote one that seemed innocent enough to those outside the inner circle, but was a slight stab up the nose for the poor SOB who had just married my friend’s daughter. What we ended up with was a funny limerick that made Dad’s point without causing the bride to faint from embarrassment.

Strangely enough, these days I’m working quite closely with the inimitable Lewis Williams who has written hilarious, filth-spewing limericks about endless places … [Read more…]

Cowboy jokes to laugh ya clean outta town…

Most cowboy jokes are either very rude or not funny, but I’ve gathered together a few that make me laugh without making me blush much. Some are from one of my titles, “The Country-Lover’s Joke Book.

Hi-ho, Silver, and enjoy – ya hear?

Funny jokes about cowboys

How to be a good cowboy rule #1: don’t squat with your spurs on.

Un-horsed
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.  Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.  When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered. [Read more…]

Writing about horses special: the pick of HTWB

Do you love horses and horse riding? So do I … or at least I did before health problems made it nearly impossible for me to ride any more. Never mind.

As you can imagine I’ve experienced some amazing stories over my decades of horse riding: here is my pick of them…

Horses on How To Write Better

Me on Irish Draught mare “Willow” and son Tom on Welshie Section A “Taffy” just back from a hack in our English winter

In these articles I’ve shared some of the funniest and loveliest moments of my horse riding days

[Read more…]

Jokes in writing pot pourri 1

Given the sadness and tension we’re living with in the northern hemisphere right now, here are a few funny jokes in writing … to cheer us up.

What is that noise? A hello-copper, answered the whispering voice.

Sneaky
The boss of a big company who needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computer systems, dialled the employee’s home phone number and was greeted by a child’s whisper…
“Hello.”
“Is your daddy home?” he asked.
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I  talk with him please?”
The child whispered, “No.” [Read more…]

Why Facebook blogging works for small business – equestrian training

Why Facebook blogging works for small business - equestrian training

“I’m using the short posts to keep us fresh in people’s minds and to spread our net wider.”

Facebook is a very popular meeting place for horsey people in the UK and elsewhere.

Demelza Hawes trained at the famous École National d’Equitation of the Cadre Noir at Saumur, France and now runs a high-level horse and rider training business in southern England.

Facebook was the right choice of media for her short, informal blogs.

(For a list of the top 10 most helpful articles on blogging for business as chosen by our readers, click here)

[Read more…]

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