Why you can love and hate your cat at the same time

Have you noticed how cats have an uncannily perfect sense of timing? They drive you up the wall until you’re at screaming point, then turn on the charm faucet full blast so your fury just melts away at their cuteness?

Here is a tribute to them in verse, maddening little b*ggers…

Cat humor on HTWB

“But, er, where the feck are you now, you sneaky little gobsh*te?”

PUDDYTAT

Puddytat, I love you so, but your arrogance is stifling
When you yowl to get outside and force me to obey
You sit there, bored and yawing wide, your interest merely trifling
“I may go out, but maybe not. There’s time to spare till doomsday.”

Much as I respect my cats I do get twitchy waiting
For them to make decisions as to if it’s in or out [Read more…]

How to speak doggie

By Elaine Stavert

Please welcome England-based Animal Complementary Therapist Elaine Stavert, who has studied widely across Applied Zoopharmacognosy, canine nutrition, canine massage and acupressure plus many more related disciplines. In this article, she shares the key points of knowing what drives your dog’s instincts and how to understand how he or she communicates and functions. Over to Elaine…

How to understand your dog and speak doggie

Your dog will tell you when he needs to rest, so listen to him.

[Read more…]

15 easy steps for, er, giving your cat a pill

Although I have shared this useful checklist here before (I think – sorry Google, but we’re human), I reckon it’s time for us cat owners to refresh our memories.

15 easy steps for, er, giving your cat a pill

Ignore rumbling yowls from cat.

This is particularly helpful when your vet gives you some pills for your cat that actually are big enough to choke a horse, and smiles beatifically while saying “just open his/her mouth with one hand, pop the pill in with the other, close the mouth and wait for him/her to swallow. Yeah, right.

Here’s the realistic way … [Read more…]

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat…

All of us cat owners (I have four) know very well that you can’t impose rules on them – only ask very, very nicely. Here’s a useful list of requests you can make; remember only to ask your cat, respectfully, to bear them in mind – preferably after s/he has eaten plenty of fresh lobster and is enjoying a relaxing wash on your brand new Parker Knoll

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat...

Be sure your cat is in a mellow mood before making these requests…

[Read more…]

Why you should never trust a parrot…

Two golden-oldie reasons why parrots can be much, much more trouble than they’re worth…

Who needs feet? Except …

Why you should never trust a parrot

Who’s a pretty boy then? Not necessarily…

Herbert was not getting along so well with his wife and thought maybe he’d like to have a pet to keep him company. So, he went to a pet shop in search of a friend.

After looking around he spotted a parrot sitting on a little perch. It didn’t have any feet or legs.

“Gosh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?” Herbert muttered.

“I was born this way,” said the parrot. “I’m a defective parrot.” [Read more…]

Writing new names for poodle-cross dogs…

Writing new names for poodle cross dogs

We could probably name this a FooledYouDoodle…

Unless you have been hiding under a dog blanket for the last year or three, you won’t fail to have noticed that doggie (human) types are cross breeding everything from a Labrador to an Elephant with a Poodle, to produce a doggie pet that has the characteristics of both breeds BUT does not shed hair.

Brilliant news for families where someone is allergic to doggie hair / dandruff etc. (although the concept doesn’t always work … but that’s another story.) [Read more…]

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