Sheep jokes … no, not THOSE – funny ones!

Sheep jokes have a dubious reputation due to many people’s assumptions about what lonely shepherds and farmers get up to with them, but there is hope.

clean sheep jokes

I may be a (male) woolly jumper, but avoid encountering my horns if you want to go on to your full life expectancy.

Here are some sheep jokes that manage to be funny without even hinting at anything too rude. Enjoy! (And while we’re on this topic, whatever you do, don’t tangle with a ram unless he is particularly stupid, as this true story of mine explains…) [Read more…]

Written rules for dogs, cats and humans

No matter how much we love our dogs and cats, there comes a time when we humans need to lay down the law. (A bit.) And equally, we pet lovers need to set out the rules for humans who visit and might turn up their nose at a stray cat hair in their eye or a doggy footprint on their incredibly expensive, light beige suede coat. Who cares?

rules for dogs, cats and humans

Don’t think I will sleep on the couch just because you need to stretch out on my bed. (Well, not always, anyway…)

Here are some useful guidelines to help us map out appropriate rules for all concerned in our homes. Original rule compiler unknown, but I concur absolutely with their thoughts… [Read more…]

Cat-chup on your feline humor…

Whether you love cats or hate them, they are an endless source of entertainment and the butt of many jokes. And thankfully, they’ve got a way of always having the last laugh on us…as I’m sure nearly every cat owner in the world already knows!
funny jokes about cats on HTWB

Scratch that

Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. “Don’t worry,” my husband reassured me. “I’ll have him trained in no time.” [Read more…]

Writing about horses: a poem for car and truck-lorry drivers

On the increasingly rare occasions when you see horses being ridden on out the road, please bear in mind that they were out on those roads long before cars and even before the ever-popular and self-righteous bicycle. (Well, some self-righteous bicycle riders, anyway.)

Here’s a short ode, excerpted from the forthcoming “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes” to remind truck/lorry drivers, in particular, that despite your best efforts not to scare our noble steeds a little mechanical quirk can have disastrous consequences…(but unlike bicycle riders, we thank you for your courtesy anyway!)

Funny poems about horses on HTWB

Please wait till we’re truly past, or you’ll need to revive us!

HORSES ON THE HIGHWAY

Some motorists are very kind
To horses somewhat heated
You slow and stop, with engines off,
So we can remain seated. [Read more…]

Why you can love and hate your cat at the same time

Have you noticed how cats have an uncannily perfect sense of timing? They drive you up the wall until you’re at screaming point, then turn on the charm faucet full blast so your fury just melts away at their cuteness?

Here is a tribute to them in verse, maddening little b*ggers…

Cat humor on HTWB

“But, er, where the feck are you now, you sneaky little gobsh*te?”

PUDDYTAT

Puddytat, I love you so, but your arrogance is stifling
When you yowl to get outside and force me to obey
You sit there, bored and yawing wide, your interest merely trifling
“I may go out, but maybe not. There’s time to spare till doomsday.”

Much as I respect my cats I do get twitchy waiting
For them to make decisions as to if it’s in or out [Read more…]

How to speak doggie

By Elaine Stavert

Please welcome England-based Animal Complementary Therapist Elaine Stavert, who has studied widely across Applied Zoopharmacognosy, canine nutrition, canine massage and acupressure plus many more related disciplines. In this article, she shares the key points of knowing what drives your dog’s instincts and how to understand how he or she communicates and functions. Over to Elaine…

How to understand your dog and speak doggie

Your dog will tell you when he needs to rest, so listen to him.

[Read more…]

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