19 polite requests to suggest to your cat…

All of us cat owners (I have four) know very well that you can’t impose rules on them – only ask very, very nicely. Here’s a useful list of requests you can make; remember only to ask your cat, respectfully, to bear them in mind – preferably after s/he has eaten plenty of fresh lobster and is enjoying a relaxing wash on your brand new Parker Knoll

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat...

Be sure your cat is in a mellow mood before making these requests…

[Read more…]

Why you should never trust a parrot…

Two golden-oldie reasons why parrots can be much, much more trouble than they’re worth…

Who needs feet? Except …

Why you should never trust a parrot

Who’s a pretty boy then? Not necessarily…

Herbert was not getting along so well with his wife and thought maybe he’d like to have a pet to keep him company. So, he went to a pet shop in search of a friend.

After looking around he spotted a parrot sitting on a little perch. It didn’t have any feet or legs.

“Gosh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?” Herbert muttered.

“I was born this way,” said the parrot. “I’m a defective parrot.” [Read more…]

Writing new names for poodle-cross dogs…

Writing new names for poodle cross dogs

We could probably name this a FooledYouDoodle…

Unless you have been hiding under a dog blanket for the last year or three, you won’t fail to have noticed that doggie (human) types are cross breeding everything from a Labrador to an Elephant with a Poodle, to produce a doggie pet that has the characteristics of both breeds BUT does not shed hair.

Brilliant news for families where someone is allergic to doggie hair / dandruff etc. (although the concept doesn’t always work … but that’s another story.) [Read more…]

Why you shouldn’t ever have a parrot…

parrots,funny jokes,humor

“Got him in France – there’s millions of them there.”

If you’re tempted to get a parrot as a pet, read these stories carefully … they might make you think again.

Sans blague
A Frenchman with a parrot on his shoulder walked into a bar.  The bartender said, “Wow, that’s really neat.  Where did you get him?”
“In France,” the parrot replied. “They’ve got millions of them there.”

Bordello squawk
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
“Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner. [Read more…]

Countryside crackers…rustic humor from the sticks

countryside,country,jokes,farming,bulls,vicars,humor,hilarious,funny jokes,

What’s known as “a lot of bull.”

If you love being in or visiting the countryside, you’ll enjoy these jokes that share the funny side of all that’s rustic, green and leafy. Enjoy!

Many years ago an English farmer asked his young son to take their cow over to the bull at the farm on the other side of the village. As the little lad was leading the cow along, they met the Vicar (minister). [Read more…]

Why dogs are better than humans: a survey

Why dogs are better than men

dogs,humans,dogs are better than humans,women,men,humor,funny jokes,hilarious

Dogs are not afraid to look you in the eye

*Dogs do not think it’s “wet” to express their affection for you in public.
*Dogs don’t feel threatened by a woman who is intelligent, wears a trouser suit, earns more than they do or drives a fast car
*Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.
*Dogs take the word “no” to mean “no,” not “perhaps” or “yes please” [Read more…]