Ode to the sh… birds

You can’t help admiring wild birds no matter how much they drive you crazy. Here are some humorous thoughts about the little feathered friends who cheer us up every day, even though the calling cards they leave behind can dissolve wooden fences, car paint and probably solid granite as well…

funny poem about garden birds on HTWB

What to do, oh birdie lovers? Tell my cats to kill them now?

THE SH… BIRDS

How I love the birds who go sh…
On my windshield and what’s more
All over my back yard – and yet it
Matters not. I love them all.

Those feathery little b*stards who do
Sit on my fence before the feeder [Read more…]

Valentines Day love from the Grammar Police

You can’t say we don’t celebrate romance here on #HTWB … even the Grammar Police have, er, something to say about Valentine’s Day. If you want an alternative to the schmaltzy goo that permeates February 14th, you’re in the right place. Enjoy.

HTWB Valentines Day humor

Take my heart its yours on a plate. Keep it till you learn how to punctuate.

VALENTINE’S DAY WITH THE GRAMMAR POLICE

Roses are red, violets are blue
That’s just a cliché. Don’t like it? Go scr*w.

Violets is blue, roses is red,
Get noun/verbs together, you puerile d*ckhead.

And roses are red while violets are blue
Don’t start with conjunctions, they’re strictly taboo. [Read more…]

Why FRESH is such a lovely word…

Do you have a favourite word? One that sounds as good as it means? Here’s one you might like to ponder – in verse, of course…on #HTWB

MIschieverse funny poems on HTWB

Fresh is the nip of hunger when you gaze at fruit and veg before you…

FRESH

Isn’t “fresh” a lovely word?
Invigorates your faith in life
Spices up those sounds unheard
Chases out the cobwebs rife. [Read more…]

Grammar goofs: classic syntax attacks by the UK Daily Fail

A quick glance at the UK’s Daily Fail – especially on weekends when they leave the cleaners to write the stories – shows you just how ridiculous you look when you get the noun-verb relationships and other syntax wrong.

HTWB Kenny

“The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star also shared another video clip while walking with her boyfriend Tyga, 27, in the gold one-piece bathing suit.” Tyga, your choice of swimwear is beginning to worry me.

Do you ever do this? Of course not…but just in case you might miss the odd goof, the following will ensure that you never make a tw*t of yourself as these Daily Fail writers do…

The latest grammar goofs from one of the UK’s most “popular” newspapers

Bling: Kim posted this image of the £3.5m ring that was stolen on Instagram before the robbery. I thought the ring was stolen during the robbery? [Read more…]

How to find the writing help you need on #HTWB

With more than 1,200 articles and tutorials on writing here on #HTWB, you may start finding a bit tricky to find what you need. So FYI, here is a breakdown of the most popular categories and specifically how they can help you with your writing.

the writing help you need on HTWB

Not sure where to look for the writing help you need here on #HWTB? This article is a useful guide.

Below all that, you’ll find a selection of the most popular articles with links to them directly. But in the meantime, here are …

Our most popular categories here on #HTWB

[Read more…]

A glass of wine, and why not?

Does a glass of wine at the end of a hard day’s work help you relax and unravel? Here on #HTWB is a tribute in verse to our liquid friend to whom we should be, er, grapeful…

HTWB wine 1

A glass of wine – and why not?

WINE

Nothing like a glass of wine
After work, you’re home and dry
Pour your stress right down the line
Well – down your throat, to pacify…

…but trouble is, does it really
Make you feel calm and bright?
Or does it blind your hormones
Into thinking all is right? [Read more…]

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