Does your modern car bore you to tears?

If you love cars – the older, grittier muscle cars and sleek creatures like single seaters and drag racers – you’ll appreciate my sentiments in this rather rude look at most road cars we drive today. Enjoy, vroom, vroom.

funny poem about modern cars on HTWB

…give me a car with a big pair of b*lls…

CAR BORES

Why can’t a car be a car any more?
These factories on wheels leave me flummoxed
Driving today has becomes such a bore
Modern cars simply don’t have two b*llocks. [Read more…]

Content writing: curated articles that aren’t vanilla sh*t

If you like to learn about creating better content BUT are fed up with the droves of boring, “vanilla,” repetitive, useless articles that fill up the internet, stick with me. Here are a few that I think are excellent: I’ve learned from them, and so will you. Your time reading them will NOT be wasted…

good articles on content creation on HTWB

…because no-one has time to waste on boring, vanilla, hot-air articles on content creation.

…and, we’ll be curating similarly good, powerful and useful articles on here in the future as they crop up. Does that work for you? If so please say so in the comments below. In the meantime…

Emails: what’s the best time to send them?

[Read more…]

How to optimize your blog’s images in 3 easy steps (and why you should)

Blog writers, in particular, often forget to optimize the images we use to illustrate our words – so losing some potentially valuable SEO traction. Yet with just a few simple key strokes you can benefit from greater Google visibility. To show us how, please welcome USA-based content marketer Owen Hunt

How to optimize your images and why it's important

We’ve all heard that images are important to add life to our content and spice up otherwise boring and bland content. What we haven’t discussed nearly enough, is how important optimizing images is for your overall SEO. We spend so much time on text and behind the scenes optimization that many of us forget our images.

Without properly optimizing your images, you could be leaving half of your SEO potential on the table. [Read more…]

An election song to sing to doorstep canvassers…

If you’re in the UK you could be forgiven for saying you’re sick to death of local elections, general elections, referendums, etc. etc. So here is a little ditty you can recite or sing to the next group of canvassers to land on your doorstep, preferably to a tune similar to the first verses of Ella Fitzgerald’s “A Tisket, A Tasket.” (No, I’m not THAT old.)

funny poem about elections on HTWB

ELECTIONS

Elections, elections
Some purified collections
Of bullsh*t, pure bullsh*t
You really can’t deny. [Read more…]

Local advertisers: stop writing we-wee and start getting a decent ROI

Just over three years ago we published about the we-weeing problem in marketing material, and much as most pro writers like me bang on about it, it’s still raging away.

Local advertisers we-weeing on their customers HTWB

This historic little guy, Manneken Pis, has been we-weeing on people in Brussels, Belgium for 400 years. Fortunately this is good, for his business.

The reason why I am throwing the toys out of my pram this time is because I feel sorry for the ever-constant stream of local magazines that set up in all good faith, sell advertising space to local businesses, and go out of business themselves within a couple of years.

Why? Here’s my theory and it’s not their fault … it’s the fault of the we-wee local advertisers who, because they we-wee, don’t get the results they should from their advertising and so eventually abandon the local magazines as not cost-effective. Naughty, naughty and frankly, bloody ignorant.

Local advertisers: stop writing about how wonderful you are

(NB: After my rant, you’ll find 10 Tips on how to do it right, below!) [Read more…]

How the SO WHAT? test can boost a lot of your business writing

Although the SO WHAT? test originally was written to test the content effectiveness of your elevator pitch, actually you can use it to test almost any promotional statement. Here’s how it works…So what test for all your marketing on HTWB

The basic idea behind the SO WHAT? test

[Read more…]

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