Chicken humor in writing … clucking hilarious!

Warning: if you’re a poultry eater, do not keep chickens as pets – if you do, you’ll never touch alimentary chicken again, despite it being what most omnivores consider to be a healthy option. Almost every day I read stories of chickens rescued from the battery prisons to live their lives out with kind families who love them as pets.

Jokes about chickens

Whether you love chickens to eat, or as pets, or both … here are some jokes to lighten up these dull days of UK winter!

If I were to rescue battery chickens I would be every bit as soppy about them as I am about the other animals I rescue, but, er, let’s not go there now. Farmers, on the other hand, regard chickens as products; sad, I know, but their work feeds the world a lot better than I do. Sooo … enjoy!

Writing jokes about chickens doesn’t harm anyone (even chickens)

Given that we laugh at most things these days – especially written jokes about all sorts of things – here is a selection of some we find the funniest. [Read more…]

Life and people being shirty? New book of poems gets down and dirty

Life and people being shirty?

Try this book: get down and dirty…

New book of rude poetry by humorist Suzan St Maur

Cheer up – people annoy animals, too. Find out why and have a good laugh in your copy of Mischieverse…

[Read more…]

Local and small business advertisers: why you shouldn’t ask why not

Why not read this great article of mine? “Because I don’t want to, that’s why not.”

Often in local and small business advertising you’ll see a sentence – usually as part of the call to action – that asks “why not (try this, drop in, call for our brochure, look up our website, etc.)”

Why WHY NOT? can detract from your advertising message

You need to show that you’re 100 percent positive about what you’re selling: “why not?” can introduce an element of doubt.

Although it may seem like a polite invitation, that’s the problem: it’s too polite. [Read more…]

Business jargon and slang all the way to ZZZZ

The final part in our series on English business jargon and slang … although this is still a work in progress and is likely to be for years as more and more jargon and slang terms are devised in our business world!
Series on business jargon and slang
Under the weather: to feel under the weather means to feel unwell without any specific symptoms, or sometimes when you know what’s wrong with you but don’t want to share it with everyone else! Its origins are a little unclear, but generally seem to connect to sailors working on ships in rough seas where if they weren’t well, would be sent to the lower decks of the ship so that they were “under the weather,” so presumably they were less likely to be made sick by the rolling of the ship. There is also a theory that says the full phrase was “under the weather bow,” which is almost the opposite of the previous nautical connection: the weather bow is the part of the ship which moves and plunges the most, and if you’re under it you are like to feel unwell. All from the 20th century, though. [Read more…]

Horse racing humour – jokes from the final furlong

Whether you enjoy the occasional flutter on the UK’s Grand National … or are a committed “form” expert punting away every week (…or just someone who enjoys a good laugh!) … this week’s #SundaySmile shares funny stories from the horse racing world…

Jokes about horse racing

The Shetland Pony Grand National … madness in miniature!

Who’s racing whom?
An elderly gentleman finally achieved his lifelong ambition and bought a race horse. But it didn’t seem to have much energy, so the old man got the vet in to look at him.
“This horse is very old,” said the vet.
“But will I be able to race him?” asked the old man.
“I expect so,” replied the vet. “And you’ll probably win.”

Bigger than…
A Texan racehorse trainer was visiting Newmarket, and got chatting with an English trainer in a pub.  [Read more…]

A post-Thanksgiving lament written after cooking dinner…

To celebrate both the US Thanksgiving and Black Friday, here is a specially adapted version of a poem I wrote in my new book of naughty, humorous verse, Mischieverse. Hope you’ve had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and happy rest-of-the-Holidays to you all in the USA…

Funny poem about Thanksgiving
Post-Thanksgiving Lament

Thanksgiving is finished
The big bird is gone
Hacked with the carving
And perfectly spun…

…into many waste products
Down sewers and wells
In horrible forms
With horrible smells. [Read more…]

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