You gorgeous Americans delight in creating new words in the English language and much as I love most, the verb “conversate” is not one of them. So strongly does this word make me want to spit (or to be pretentious, “expectorate”) that I have written a short poem about it… Enjoy.
Altogether, now: time to spew…
Conversation is an art
That brainy people follow
But brainy types need far more hypes
To make them feel less shallow.
Merely speaking to your friends
Is not enough to please them
(I mean the snots whose kudos rots
When short words don’t appease them.)
So what do folks with snob complexes
Do when language fails them?
They simply grab or even nab
More syllables to nail them.
Like why converse, when conversate
Says just the same, but longer?
And no-one knows what the hell that goes
For meaning – so it’s stronger.
Conversating, after all
Is really more point-scoring
Than simply talking – much like walking
Pedestrian, and boring.
So let’s get conversating all
And add that extra syllable
Leap the fence of common sense
And impress those much more gullible.
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And in case you’re wondering, I actually heard a relative of mine in the US use this word one time when her children were being a little rowdy.
“Please be quiet: the adults are conversating.”
Roll over, Shakespeare…
Excerpted from “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort of rhymes” to be published in 2017.
© Suzan St Maur 2016-2017