Here is sneak preview of my New Year’s resolutions for 2017. Do you agree with them? Or am I being too strict a Grammar Police officer?
2. I will not use ridiculous, contrived words like “conversate” or “expiration” (what’s wrong with “converse” and “expiry” FFS?)
3. I will not dangle participles no matter how difficult I will certainly find it.
4. As a diligent writer, my syntax will always be correct.
5. I will avoid writing very short sentences purely for effect. I’m. Not. A. Poser.
6. Never again will I mix my metaphors and similes like a Daily Fail caption writer on acid trying to make a Kardashian seem intelligent.
7. I will always chekc my writing for stupid little mistakes and careless omisions.
8. I will always make sure I stick my apostrophes in all the right place’s.
9. I will never misuse colons: or semi-colons; either.
10. I will decide to use either American or English spellings and cheque that every article is consistentized.
11. I will not use fancy foreign words to to try to impress people. That’s just so passé.
12. I Will Not Write Titles All Starting With Capital Letters Because They Are Bloody Hard To Read.
13. I WILL NOT WRITE ALL IN CAPITALS IN SOCIAL MEDIA BECAUSE THAT’S SHOUTING. BOOO!
14. I will not bore people on social media with my cats, my memes, my travel arrangements or what I threw up just after breakfast.
15. I will always ensure that my nouns and my verbs is in total agreement.
16. I will not over-use adverbs in my fiction writing as that makes it look fiendishly, embarrassingly and obsessively amateurish.
17. When writing long sections of dialogue I will learn to indicate who’s saying what now and again so readers do not lose the will to live.
18. When writing humour I will not append funny lines with “ha-ha” or “!!!!” because those do not make bad jokes funnier.
19. I will make my poems scan and rhyme; well, at least I will most of the time.
20. I will not use feeble little euphemisms for swear words. If I’m going to swear, I fricking-well will.
What are your New Year’s resolutions for this coming year?
Please share them here!