Trust me, that’s not as ridiculous as it sounds. And to warn you of its dangers, here is another excerpt from Mischieverse, my upcoming volume of somewhat rude poetry…
Blister packs, heady whacks
Why are these so fiddly?
Break your nails, right off the rails
And all you get is diddly?…
…maybe just a pill to pop
But if your nails are treasures
Trust me, blister packs will break
All manicures and pleasures.
When such packs are properly made
Their aluminium’s toughest
Which when you try to get the pill
Will challenge muscles roughest.
Ah, but now that costs are cut
Such blister packs get shrivelled
Their b*lls cut off, and wafer thin
So all substance is repelled.
Makes it easier for people
Who like me value our nails
But what happens when we press out
Tablets from such wimpish fails?
Sure the tabs drop nice and easy
In your hand if you’re alert
But you can swallow aluminium
Cr*p along with meds inert.
Trust me, blister packs can fool you
Never shove their stuff up yours
Check their metal covers haven’t
Messed up your digestive powers.
If you enjoyed this, there are dozens more humorous poems and music articles right here on #HTWB …
Excerpted from “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes“
by Suzan St Maur
to be published in 2017
by Corona Books UK
© Suzan St Maur 2017