Hilarious ad libbed TV golden oldies

These questions and answers are from the golden old days when the ‘Hollywood Squares‘ TV game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted. And judging by some of them, you can begin to understand why they decided to start scripting them after all … enjoy…

Golden oldie comments from the Hollywood Squares TV show

The late Jackie Gleeson** – surely he wasn’t all that overweight?

Do female frogs croak?
Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads underwater long enough.

If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?
George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
Charley Weaver: Of course not. I’m too busy growing strawberries.

It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

When you pat a dog on its head, he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head . . . what was he trying to do?
George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Jackie Gleason** recently revealed that he firmly believes in them, and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
Charley Weaver: His feet.

What are your favourite “golden oldie” TV shows?

Please share your thoughts!
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