Have you read your Huff Post today?

It’s ever-more amazing what you read in the Huffington Post … a glorious nirvana for us bloggers and a promotional value of $$$s/£££s to say we’ve been published there.

Have you read your Huff Post today?

Love the hair, Arianna.

But wait. Could it be that this pinnacle of journalistic excellence is starting to doff its cap to a weensie bit of sensationalism now and then?

Here’s a little anthem to celebrate its emerging descent from intellectual superciliousness…

IN THE HUFF POST (should be sung, really)

You’ll never guess what I read just today
A recipe for turd potroast
And it must be so ‘cause it’s there on show
In the ever truthful Huff Post.

Then I read that the next US president
Used to be a TV porn show host
And it must be so ‘cause it’s there on show
In the ever truthful Huff Post.

Hey girls it’s great to m*st*rbate
Tell your friends: go make a proud boast!
And it must be so ‘cause it’s there on show
In the ever truthful Huff Post.

Chorus

Hey Arianna, you’re just great
Your Huff Post leads society
It gives all of us a real boilerplate
Of respectable impropriety.

Did you know what’s in a banana skin?
Shines your shoes and makes good compost
And it must be so ‘cause it’s there on show
In the ever truthful Huff Post.

Now take a look at your partner’s beard
It’s a perfect microbe subhost
And it must be so ‘cause it’s there on show
In the ever truthful Huff Post.

Keep up with the latest p*nis news
Plus other sexual signposts
And it must be so ‘cause it’s there on show
In the ever truthful Huff Post.

Chorus

Hey Arianna, you’re just great
Your Huff Post leads society
It gives all of us a real boilerplate
Of respectable impropriety.

Learn how a man fell in love with a goat
Sought a legal marriage on the West Coast
And it must be so ‘cause it’s there on show
In the ever truthful Huff Post.

Then there’s two-headed 10-metre snake
Whose tale shocked all the Ivory Coast
And it must be so ‘cause it’s there on show
In the ever truthful Huff Post.

Much as I lap, up this frivolous crap
Can’t believe it, though I do try my utmost
I don’t think it’s so just because it’s on show
In the ever questionable Huff Post.

Chorus

Hey Arianna, you were great
Your Huffington Post led society
But you sold out to protect your fate
Shame you lost your street credibility.

Have you read your Huff Post today?

Mischieverse is coming…

Excerpted from “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes”

by Suzan St Maur
to be published in 2017
© Suzan St Maur 2016-2017

With thanks for the top image to DonkeyHotey.

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