Why it’s worth putting up with your kids

No matter how much your kids may drive you up the wall, there is always at least one good reason why you should put up with all the drama until they’re grown up. Here’s why, in verse, from the upcoming rude volume of poetry, “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes,” due out in September 2017.

Grandparents on HTWB from Mischieverse

Now when things are smoothing out, your brat is human, finally

KIDS

Don’t these kiddies drive you nuts?
What happened to those tots so cute?
Grow away, leave you behind
Yet when in poop, back home they scoot?

Love them dearly, wipe their bums
Cherish them and all their friends
Clean up the puke, beer, pizza fumes
Comfort them when the party ends…

Deal with all those teenage angsts
Hormones raging, causing zits
Dramas, fights and slamming doors
Turns them into little sh*ts.

Whatever happened to my sweet
…little son or daughter then?
Just what turned them into such
…a growling monster, alien?

Then one day, the fog just clears
They ask you if you feel OK
And suddenly you’re not, because
You’re gob-smacked that asked that way.

Now when things are smoothing out
Your brat is human, finally
Off they go in search of freedom
And you’re left, bereft, empty.

Never mind, that’s what we’re here for
Parents’ are a ****ing bore
Just around to pay their bills then
”b*gger off,” no need, no more.

So, don’t these kiddies drive you nuts?
What happened to those tots so cute?
Grow away, leave you behind
Yet when in poop, back home they scoot?

Tell you something, ‘tween us both
Being here for them is joyful
When they get in sh*te, no matter
…what, we’re always loyal.

Much as kids may a*holes be
We parents are restricted
…‘cause when those grandkids come along
We soon become addicted.

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If you enjoyed this, there are dozens more humorous poems and music articles right here on #HTWB
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Poetry on HTWB

Mischieverse is coming…

Excerpted from Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes

by Suzan St Maur
to be published in 2017
by Corona Books UK
© Suzan St Maur 2017

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