More hilarious goofs from the UK’s Daily Fail…

As it’s coming up to the Festive Season I thought today we could have a few more laughs at some other professional writers’ boo-boos (please feel free to laugh at mine in exchange, Daily Failers.) As always the comments have been copied and pasted verbatim.

more funny jokes from the UK Daily Fail

Now he’s been elected, there’ll be Hell toupée.

So … as you know, unless you have been living under a rock on the dark side of the moon for the past year or so, in the West we have been enduring a flutter of political, er, activity. Hence we start with some jestful comments about Hillary Clinton

And Clinton certainly seemed to have a penchant for statement jewelry back in the day as well, wearing several pairs of bold earrings and even a layered pearl choker.
It’s surprising that her earlobes aren’t longer than a Basset Hound‘s.

As election day looms closer Hillary ups the anti in a colour blocking blue suit in New York
I doubt it was the blue suit that upped the anti – more likely Trump‘s insults. I think you mean “ante,” dear.

funny quotes from the Daily Fail

It’s surprising, then, that her earlobes aren’t longer than a Basset Hound’s.

Just last month Hillary was still delivering her famously polished look while boarding her campaign plane to Miami, which has since slipped
Hold on. Was it the campaign plane that slipped, or Miami? I hope someone informed the FAA / Miami City Hall.

Milk contains an amino acid responsible for creating two hormones in the brain. Cardbohydrates, such as those found in honey, help with the uptake of the acid
Must remember to recycle our cardboard to my bee-keeping friends.

Heartbroken: Katie broke Kieran‘s heart when he cheated on her with two of her best friends
Katie probably wanted to break his neck, not his heart.

Controversial duo: Bratavio were typically over the top fill in make-up and PVC
Sounds like they were planning to volunteer as a garden lawn weed killing membrane.

Classic look: The former creative director for Nylon magazine complemented her coloured eyes with gold shadow and a deep red lip
Whoever objected to the gold shadow didn’t have to belt her one.

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He suffered serious injuries in the crash despite the face he was wearing a seatbelt.
Not very bright to wear a seatbelt on your face, is it.

Details: Emmy nicknamed her new home the “pied-à-teardown,” which translates to ‘Walk-in Teardown
No, it doesn’t. If you must pose with French, it’s “foot-on-the-ground Teardown, which is a load of b*ll*cks anyway.

Police confirmed two cars were burned in an arson attack in Flint, north Wales, on Wednesday – belonging to Miss Rhys-Jones’ aunt Annabella Williams, 55, while petrol was poured through her other aunt Jane Burns, also in Flint.
Aunt Jane must have an alimentary tract like the Trans-Alaska Pipeline System.

hilarious jokes from the UK Daily Fail

The brunette beauty went for all out glam for her night out – wearing nude lips

With drop gold earrings draping over her shoulder, the brunette beauty went for all out glam for her night out – wearing nude lips and flirty full eyelashes
Must have forgotten to pick up her clothes from the dry-cleaners’.

The Essex beauty dipped her slender legs into the pool while sitting in a pale pink floral bikini.
Ah, so she wasn’t wearing the bikini at the time?

Strictly pro Janette Manrara were spotted leaving with a number of pieces of luggage in an all black ensemble
Couldn’t have done the all black ensemble much good to be stuffed with a number of pieces of luggage. 

Humor from the UK Daily Fail

She stood casually with her hand tucked in her pocket as she showed off her taut tun.

She stood casually with her hand tucked in her pocket as she showed off her taut tun.
Lucky she was wearing a size 10XL dress, then.

Happy! The teen smiled brightly for the camera as he locks fell over her shoulder
Shouldn’t have let that locksmith photobomb the picture.

Stunning: The Spanish actress is rarely seen without a hair in place on the red carpet
Possibly that’s because most of her hair is on her head.

Ring of truth: The presenter, 45, was in high spirits as she took charge of Strictly Come Dancing spin-off It Takes Two – and baffled viewers by remaining to wear her wedding ring 
Maybe she took it off in the ladies’ room to wash her hands. Really baffling, right?

Beaming: A smiling Zoe didn’t reference the fact her marriage had broken down during the 30 minute show
Must have been hard to ignore it though, even for 30 minutes.

Back in the spotlight: Zoe has walked out of the family home and has been staying at a neighboring property in Hove owned by her mother for the past two weeks
Mommy didn’t waste any time moving into the neighbourhood, did she.

Photo credits:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/donkeyhotey
http://photo-dictionary.com

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