How a big bully cat got what he deserved – from a bird

The true story of a cat who thought he ruled the world … until a blackbird with a temper tantrum taught him otherwise. The latest excerpt from my forthcoming book, Mischieverse…and please share your own cats-for-world-domination stories with us in the comments below…

HTWB TC cat

A great big bully, he became – the terror of the neighbourhood

THE BIG TC

Once upon a time there was
A cat called Big TC
(That stood for “Tiger Cat” of course)
A brutal puss, was he.

TC came from friends in Kent
Whose pussy had been ravaged [Read more…]

Why you can love and hate your cat at the same time

Have you noticed how cats have an uncannily perfect sense of timing? They drive you up the wall until you’re at screaming point, then turn on the charm faucet full blast so your fury just melts away at their cuteness?

Here is a tribute to them in verse, maddening little b*ggers…

Cat humor on HTWB

“But, er, where the feck are you now, you sneaky little gobsh*te?”

PUDDYTAT

Puddytat, I love you so, but your arrogance is stifling
When you yowl to get outside and force me to obey
You sit there, bored and yawing wide, your interest merely trifling
“I may go out, but maybe not. There’s time to spare till doomsday.”

Much as I respect my cats I do get twitchy waiting
For them to make decisions as to if it’s in or out [Read more…]

15 easy steps for, er, giving your cat a pill

Although I have shared this useful checklist here before (I think – sorry Google, but we’re human), I reckon it’s time for us cat owners to refresh our memories.

15 easy steps for, er, giving your cat a pill

Ignore rumbling yowls from cat.

This is particularly helpful when your vet gives you some pills for your cat that actually are big enough to choke a horse, and smiles beatifically while saying “just open his/her mouth with one hand, pop the pill in with the other, close the mouth and wait for him/her to swallow. Yeah, right.

Here’s the realistic way … [Read more…]

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat…

All of us cat owners (I have four) know very well that you can’t impose rules on them – only ask very, very nicely. Here’s a useful list of requests you can make; remember only to ask your cat, respectfully, to bear them in mind – preferably after s/he has eaten plenty of fresh lobster and is enjoying a relaxing wash on your brand new Parker Knoll

19 polite requests to suggest to your cat...

Be sure your cat is in a mellow mood before making these requests…

[Read more…]

How to, er, live with cats…

Whether you love cats or hate them, they form a major part of many people’s lives. Here are some short stories about the ways in which some people cope – or not … enjoy!

How to, er, live with cats

All dressed up in our tuxedos … but no place to go. So how about some food?


A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned on the answering machine, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.  They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the door to leave. [Read more…]

Cat-chup on your feline humor…

cats,pussycats,feline,cat,humor,funny jokesWhether you love cats or hate them, they are an endless source of entertainment and the butt of many jokes.

And thankfully, they’ve got a way of always having the last laugh on us…as I’m sure nearly every cat owner in the world already knows! [Read more…]

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