Ode to the sh… birds

You can’t help admiring wild birds no matter how much they drive you crazy. Here are some humorous thoughts about the little feathered friends who cheer us up every day, even though the calling cards they leave behind can dissolve wooden fences, car paint and probably solid granite as well…

funny poem about garden birds on HTWB

What to do, oh birdie lovers? Tell my cats to kill them now?

THE SH… BIRDS

How I love the birds who go sh…
On my windshield and what’s more
All over my back yard – and yet it
Matters not. I love them all.

Those feathery little b*stards who do
Sit on my fence before the feeder [Read more…]

Valentines Day love from the Grammar Police

You can’t say we don’t celebrate romance here on #HTWB … even the Grammar Police have, er, something to say about Valentine’s Day. If you want an alternative to the schmaltzy goo that permeates February 14th, you’re in the right place. Enjoy.

HTWB Valentines Day humor

Take my heart its yours on a plate. Keep it till you learn how to punctuate.

VALENTINE’S DAY WITH THE GRAMMAR POLICE

Roses are red, violets are blue
That’s just a cliché. Don’t like it? Go scr*w.

Violets is blue, roses is red,
Get noun/verbs together, you puerile d*ckhead.

And roses are red while violets are blue
Don’t start with conjunctions, they’re strictly taboo. [Read more…]

Why FRESH is such a lovely word…

Do you have a favourite word? One that sounds as good as it means? Here’s one you might like to ponder – in verse, of course…on #HTWB

MIschieverse funny poems on HTWB

Fresh is the nip of hunger when you gaze at fruit and veg before you…

FRESH

Isn’t “fresh” a lovely word?
Invigorates your faith in life
Spices up those sounds unheard
Chases out the cobwebs rife. [Read more…]

The dirty truth about, er, garbage (in verse)

Think you know what happens to garbage (rubbish) in our so-called civilised countries? Do we really know the truth? And should we write some poetry about it? (Here’s mine…)

HTWB garbage poem 2017

Does it really get recycled all in one hit? Or are we being fed some more utter bull sh*t?

GARBAGE

Political correctness now spreads right into the rubbish
(Or garbage if you live towards the west of the Atlantic)
So much as we continue to throw out the normal bullsh*t
We’re leaned upon to file our crap in detail that’s just frantic. [Read more…]

Guaranteed to put you off crap TV this Holidays…

If you’re planning to wrap up warm (well, maybe not if you’re in Australia) and watch crappy reality TV shows all over the Holidays, read this. You’ll be switching to Netflix in nanoseconds.

Funny poem about reality TV from Mischieverse

Yes, even in Algeria. Curried desert rats perhaps?

REALITY TV

Dontchya love reality
When it’s expressed on your TV?
Nothing like folks’ dirty clothes
And stinky socks or filthy hose…
…to make you laugh and smile and puke
And giggle, snort without rebuke
All safely shut away inside
Your television’s plastic hide.

Watch those stars eat bugs and snakes
Stuffing down what nature makes… [Read more…]

The Body Building Brainf*rt

If you are, or know someone who is, a body builder, this little poem will make you laugh (and think twice before reaching for the steroids.) Cheers to you, Muscles…

Body building funny poem

Were you just a skinny w*nker after whom no-one would hanker?

BODY BUILDING

Pumpy, pumpy, pumpy pump
Body building’s such a hump
Grow your muscles giant size
Let your ego aggrandise. [Read more…]

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