MISCHIEVERSE now available to pre-order…am so excited!

My first ever collection of poetry is has arrived on Amazon, due for publication September 18th, but you can pre-order your copy or copies NOW!

And surprise, surprise (you know what I’m like) … it’s potty-mouthed, entertaining and very funny. Here’s what some of the pre-reviewers said…

Rude, irreverent and downright filthy … like Johnny Rotten meets Pam Ayres. –Julia Lewis, actor, Their Finest, Supergirl, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm

This wonderful book gave me many laugh-out-loud moments. So many observations that resonated the absurdities of modern life. It’s great to pick up and open a page when the world seems chaotic, and puts a smile on the face immediately. Brilliantly written! –Jane Hatton, founder and CEO, Evenbreak

Snarky, quirky, downright rude, Suze skewers pop culture: its language, fashion, politics, entertainment. Not even family and cherished holidays escape her cutting wit. Through it all, she manages to make us laugh at ourselves and the silliness of contemporary life. –Barbara Grengs, author of the Toby Martin series of children’s mystery novels and Delicate Dames (forthcoming)

An amusing sideways look and anything and everything … the perfect gift –A E Rawson, author of best-selling crime novel, A Savage Art

Mischieverse is Suzan St Maur's first book of naughty, humorous poetry ... coming soon from Corona Books UK.

New book to be published September 18th 2017 … just in time for Holiday gifts!

Some excerpts to give you a flavour…

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It’s the perfect gift for your friends and family who like a naughty laugh. Pre-order your copies of Mischieverse now … and tick off some of your Holiday shopping nice and early! Just click here…
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Do you talk about “robust?” Maybe you should think again…

Given the sadness in our current climate of tragedies in the UK, here is a small, innocent and slightly rude bitch about something to give us all a much-needed smile…enjoy.

Funny poem about the word "robust"

Now this gallant term is used … For business plans we’re told to trust … And other crap that’s not confused … But merely solid and robust.

ROBUST

Such a “now” word ‘seventeen
Write about this much I must
Gritty word that vents our spleen
Come on, let’s all be robust. [Read more…]

Want to write better? Some advice in (humorous) verse…

Fed up with reading articles on how to write better? Try a quick lesson in verse, instead … fresh from my hard-working keyboard. (And if you’d like to read some more funny poems, see here…)

funny poem about how to write better

HOW TO WRITE BETTER

Grammar fascists please take note now
Better not play games with me
Split infinitives then gloat how
You have got away scot-free…

Nor will stupid, foolish use of
Apostrophes in the wrong place
Get you more than my own tough love
(More likely a hard slap-ped face.) [Read more…]

A naughty poem about the POTUS and the FLOTUS

Enjoy some somewhat naughty verse based on observations of the USA’s Don and Mel on their recent worldwide travels …

EDIT SUNDAY JUNE 4th: As someone who lives within a short drive of the London (England) Bridge terrorist bombing atrocity last night, I just want to say how devastated I am and I hope in running this light-hearted poem it may help a little to lift the sombre mood in the UK today. Our thoughts are with the victims and their folks. xx

funny poem about the POTUS

Can you blame lovely FLOTUS ignoring his plans, when you think where his hands have been groping ya’?

POTUS AND FLOTUS

(With apologies to supporters of the current POTUS. Don’t worry, there are things to laugh about on the other team, too…)

POTUS and FLOTUS in Twenty Seventeen
A mismatch-ed couple, now that is for sure
Age, sex and customs of distance extreme
And lack of each other’s original culture.

One thing in common though, easy to spot
So simple to see why they congregated
Brain cells that simply don’t function a lot
And IQs that seem really “bigly” stagnated. [Read more…]

Does your modern car bore you to tears?

If you love cars – the older, grittier muscle cars and sleek creatures like single seaters and drag racers – you’ll appreciate my sentiments in this rather rude look at most road cars we drive today. Enjoy, vroom, vroom.

funny poem about modern cars on HTWB

…give me a car with a big pair of b*lls…

CAR BORES

Why can’t a car be a car any more?
These factories on wheels leave me flummoxed
Driving today has becomes such a bore
Modern cars simply don’t have two b*llocks. [Read more…]

An election song to sing to doorstep canvassers…

If you’re in the UK you could be forgiven for saying you’re sick to death of local elections, general elections, referendums, etc. etc. So here is a little ditty you can recite or sing to the next group of canvassers to land on your doorstep, preferably to a tune similar to the first verses of Ella Fitzgerald’s “A Tisket, A Tasket.” (No, I’m not THAT old.)

funny poem about elections on HTWB

ELECTIONS

Elections, elections
Some purified collections
Of bullsh*t, pure bullsh*t
You really can’t deny. [Read more…]

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