Are man buns hair, or tumors rare?

As man buns are so fashionable right now, I have written a Mischieverse poem about them.

Mischieverse on HTWB

Does it really have to be there, perched on some dear d*ckhead’s brain?

My own cynical little brain can’t help but wonder whether they are actual fashion statements, or perhaps malignant growths of evil trifids spurting forth from male humans’ heads in protest against the recent market decline in conventional horror genre stories? Please read and share your conclusions…

MAN BUNS

Man buns make my skin just crawl
Such f***ing stupid thinking
What do they hope to share withall
And all such crap so stinking? [Read more…]

How a big bully cat got what he deserved – from a bird

The true story of a cat who thought he ruled the world … until a blackbird with a temper tantrum taught him otherwise. The latest excerpt from my forthcoming book, Mischieverse…and please share your own cats-for-world-domination stories with us in the comments below…

HTWB TC cat

A great big bully, he became – the terror of the neighbourhood

THE BIG TC

Once upon a time there was
A cat called Big TC
(That stood for “Tiger Cat” of course)
A brutal puss, was he.

TC came from friends in Kent
Whose pussy had been ravaged [Read more…]

National Grammar Day – celebrate with goofs from the UK Daily Fail

In honour of (USA) National Grammar Day tomorrow (March 4th, 2017) let’s celebrate with the pick of my entire collection of hilariously wrong quotes from that newspaper we all love to hate. (Who said the Grammar Police don’t have a sense of humor?)

national grammar day on HTWB
And please note, the quotes in bold below are verbatim. My own comments follow in italics.

**Bling: Kim posted this image of the £3.5m ring that was stolen on Instagram before the robbery. I thought the ring was stolen during the robbery – anyway, you were lucky to catch it all on Instagram. [Read more…]

How to write fluent Snobbish

English language,snobbish,snob,aristocracy,upper class,royalty,class system,humor,funny jokes

Are you fluent in Snobbish? Here’s some help…

Only a few years ago, if you wanted to be “posh” in England, you needed more than just a cut-glass accent: you needed (and still do need) to know Snobbish … the secret language that tells people you really are from the “top drawer.” [Read more…]

Email clichés we love to hate. And why.

Do you sometimes groan when you open an email and find it starting or finishing with a cliché that may be well-meant, but comes across as being as genuine / friendly as a cornered rat? And that’s just in your day-to-day eCorrespondence. It gets even better when it’s spam.

Email cliches we love to hate. And why.

Friend, foe, or someone trying to sort out my penile erectile dysfunction

In this run up to the Holiday Season when we’re focusing less on hard-nosed business and more on its lighter (but nonetheless important) aspects…do you agree with the following? [Read more…]

Grammar Police: 20 New Year’s Resolutions…

Here is sneak preview of my New Year’s resolutions for 2017. Do you agree with them? Or am I being too strict a Grammar Police officer?

Grammar Police New Year's resolutions on How To Write Better
1. I will not split another infinitive no matter how hard it is to really do it.

2. I will not use ridiculous, contrived words like “conversate” or “expiration” (what’s wrong with “converse” and “expiry” FFS?) [Read more…]

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