Why Jim will never play golf again…

Some important, er, advice to be shared amongst retired, married men … as passed on by my old friend Laurence H. from an article he read recently in a local newspaper in Palm Springs, California.

Funny story about older men who take their wives for granted

Jim was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his posterior…

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.
When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Jim.
Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Christine.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Christine to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.…
I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work and although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.
I don’t yell at her.
Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
I generally have lunch in the Men’s Grill at the club so eating out twice is not reasonable.
I’m ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating.
But now it’s not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won’t clean themselves.
I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think.
For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.
But, boys, we take ’em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.
I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days.
That way she won’t have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if you know what I mean).
I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn.
I try not to make a scene. I’m a fair man.
I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.
And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Christine.
I’m not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will even find it impossible!
Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.
After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
Signed,
Jim.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Jim was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his posterior…, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife Christine was arrested and charged with murder.
The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

For more writing humour on HTWB have a browse right here … and get ready to laugh your head off…

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