On the increasingly rare occasions when you see horses being ridden on out the road, please bear in mind that they were out on those roads long before cars and even before the ever-popular and self-righteous bicycle. (Well, some self-righteous bicycle riders, anyway.)
Here’s a short ode, excerpted from the forthcoming “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes” to remind truck/lorry drivers, in particular, that despite your best efforts not to scare our noble steeds a little mechanical quirk can have disastrous consequences…(but unlike bicycle riders, we thank you for your courtesy anyway!)
HORSES ON THE HIGHWAY
Some motorists are very kind
To horses somewhat heated
You slow and stop, with engines off,
So we can remain seated.
The trouble is once we have gone
Beyond your line of vision
You goose your engine, roaring loud
With racing-start precision.
Creating thus some equine fear
Your clutch engages, wallop!
Your tyres bite on earth and sh*t
Then horse goes into gallop.
And lorry drivers, you’re the best
At seeing us fast departed.
If when we’re feet from a lorry’s rear
Your airbrakes have just f*rted.
So though we’re grateful for the thought
From all you careful drivers
Please wait till we’re truly past
Or you’ll need to revive us.
If you enjoyed this, there are dozens more humorous poems and music articles right here on #HTWB … And if you love horses you’ll find plenty more hilarious anecdotes – true stories, too – right here. Enjoy!
Excerpted from “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes“
by Suzan St Maur
to be published in 2017
by Corona Books UK
© Suzan St Maur 2017