14 really clever puns, thanks to Ellen

This week’s #SundaySmile is a small but perfectly formed collection of clever puns, (or we should say, quality puns) as shared by my good friend Ellen of the excellent All About Quality company in southern England…14 really clever puns, thanks to EllenPsssstt … don’t tell Ellen, but I have heard a couple of these before … however there are some here that are new to me and, IMHO, are hilarious. Enjoy.

Which pun is your favourite?

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

14 really clever puns, thanks to Ellen

Sir Cumference: ate too much pi ?

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. Would a grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

8. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

14 really clever puns, thanks to Ellen

We’ll all go on ahead.

10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

13. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

14. Would a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray be a seasoned veteran.

How many of these puns have you heard before?

Please share, so I’ll know to knock them off any future lists!

Have a great week. Sz x

 

 

 

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