16 good reasons to serve alcohol at the office

Your doctor probably wouldn’t recommend the following suggestions but they could just be a way of, er, reducing stress in the workplace. Enjoy. Hic.

16 good reasons to serve alcohol at the office

Serving booze at your workplace would achieve the following:

1. Create an incentive to turn up.
2. Make communication more honest and open, and possibly more physical.
3. Reduce whining and complaining about low pay, poor perks, short holidays, etc.
4. Encourage employees to tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. Encourage car pooling, walking and cycling to and from work.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don’t care.
7. Eliminate vacations and absenteeism because people would rather come to work.
8. Make fellow employees look better.

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9. Make the canteen food taste better.
10. Encourage bosses to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Make salary negotiations are a lot more successful.
12. Get staff to work later since there’s no more need to relax at the pub.
13. Make everyone more creative with their ideas.
14. Eliminate the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Eliminate the need for strong coffee to cure hangovers.
16. Reduce inhibitions so sitting “Bare Butt” on the copy machine can be done openly.

What further reasons can you think of to serve alcoholic drinks at your office?

Please share…!

And please be aware, just in case you hadn’t already gathered it, that this article is a joke. OK? 

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  1. It was at one time common practice to serve alcohol in offices in Britain. While working for British Steel during the late 70s, I was able to order and consume beer, wine and spirits in the dining room. At the BBC, the drinks trolley made the rounds during the afternoon – read Kate Adie’s auogiography.

    • You’re right there, Nicole – booze played a major part in some of the UK’s biggest businesses back then. I used to help waitress for a friend who cooked business lunches for a bank in the City (of London) in the 1980s and the amount of wine, brandy and liqueurs the clients would get through was breathtaking. And yet somehow they would stagger back to their offices / boardrooms afterwards and make decisions involving millions of pounds / dollars etc. I didn’t know about the drinks trolley at the Beeb though…LOL! Thanks for sharing … Sz