30 things Brits say when they really mean…

30 things Brits say when they really mean...

I say, Lavinia, it’s rather damp out there today

I have shamelessly stolen this hilarious list of Britishisms from someone on Facebook who had taken it from Tickld.com.

Then, me being me, I rewrote them…

Now … would you agree with the following? (True meanings in brackets)

I might join you later. (I would no sooner leave my comfy armchair than stick myself in the eye with a red-hot poker.)

Excuse me, sorry, is anyone sitting here? (You have 3 seconds to move your stuff or I will stamp all over your toes.)

Not to worry. (I think you’re a selfish jerk.)

Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met before. (Who the hell are you?)

It’s a bit damp out there. (this is the fourth day we’ve had torrential rain and most suburban areas are flooded.)

Thanks for your feedback. (Your remarks were rude, patronizing and you got the whole thing wrong anyway.)

Right then, I suppose I should think about making a move although I don’t really want to. (I’ve been itching to get out of here for hours but now, finally, I can see an escape route)

It’s fine. (It’s bloody awful, but given some time and a few strong cups of coffee I might be able to make it work.)

Perfect. (Now let’s change the subject, shall we?)

A bit of a … pickle / Horlicks/ nonsense. (A total disaster.)

Not too bad. (You don’t want to know how I am even though you’ve asked, and I can’t be bothered to bore you about my aching bunion just to teach you a lesson.)

Honestly, it doesn’t matter. (It really does matter a lot. You wait and see how much.)

You’ve caught the sun. (You look like you’ve got a 3rd degree burn all over your upper body. That’ll be really painful later.)

That’s one way of looking at it. (You are talking a load of utter bullsh*t.)

I have some change if it helps. (This will let me off the hook so I don’t have to pay for my share.)

If you say so. (I know you’re lying.)

With all due respect. (You’re wrong, and I’m about to tell you why.)

You’re welcome. (to someone who hasn’t said thank you … You’re a rude little *sshole.)
You’re welcome. (Northern Ireland … Hello, and welcome to [whatever].)

I beg your pardon? (I’m furious with you; this is your only chance to back down.)

It could be worse. (This is a total disaster but I’m trying to be chirpy about it.)

Each to their own. (You’re talking utter garbage and I can’t be bothered to argue with you.)

Pop round any time. (I’m trying to be friendly but actually I’d sooner die than invite you to visit.)

I’m just popping out for lunch now, does anyone want anything? (I’m making a gesture of camaraderie but don’t you dare take me up on the offer.)

I might just get some cash out while we’re here. (at ATM … I’m going to get some cash out, and you’ll damned well have to wait for me.)

No, honestly – my fault. (It was entirely your fault and don’t you forget it.)

That’s very interesting. (I know I have to say something but that’s the best I can come up with about watching paint dry.)

When you get a minute. (Do it. Now. Or else.)

No harm done. (You’ve disrupted the entire workforce for nearly two hours and I could cheerfully strangle you.)

I’m sure it will be OK. (I know it won’t be OK, but I want you to get the hell out of here and stop bothering me.)

Sorry, I think you might have dropped something. (You dropped something but, being a Brit, I have to fanny around politely before getting to the point)

What are your favorite Britishisms?

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  1. This is great…love it! Made me laugh, much new stuff does not!

  2. Most of them are expressions (and meanings) we use here in Canada. Must be our British descent 🙂