A man walks into a (musicians’) bar …

A man walks into a (musicians') bar...

If you don’t know what this is, you could be in for a whole load of treble…

Delighted to welcome back the one and only, multi-talented Rhiannon Daniel, this time with some very clever and funny musicians’ gags she wrote the other day on Twitter. See if you can come up with some more …

A man walks into a bar…

Man walks into a bar. Juke box all lit up but no sound. He asks the barman what’s with that? “Oh, this is an avante garde bar,” says the barman.

Man walks into a bar. The bass is pounding out. Barman says, what’ll it be? Scotch please – and make it a treble.

Footie fan walks into a bar. Did you see that? 5-4! Yeah, this is a prog rock bar, says the barman.

Drunk man walks into a bar. This is my 9th..or maybe 13th, he says. Barman says, “get out, we don’t have jazz in this bar.”

Man walks into bar. “No music?” he says. Barman says, “no, just lawyers.” Man says, “well I seem to have been called to the bar then.”

Man walks into a bar. Barman says, “how many you had?” “This’ll be my 4th.” Barman says, “I shouldn’t serve you.” Man says, “oh, how you diminish me!”

Man walks into a bar looking glum. Barman asks “what’s wrong?” “So many things unresolved. I’m drinking to forget, this is my seventh.”

Man walks into a bar and says, “I’m taking note here.” The barman says, “that’s ok, it’s only natural.”

Man walks into an empty bar. “Things a bit flat round here then?” “Oh, you’re sharp,” says the barman.

Man walks into a bar and asks the barman if he can put it on a tab. “No,” says the barman, “only proper music notation in here.”

Man walks into a bar and notice two blobs on the end. He says, “what’s that for then?” Barman says, “this is a repeating bar.”

Man walks into a bar and says to the barman, “I’m looking for Melody.”

A man walks into a (musicians') bar

Rhiannon Daniel and Kitsch’NSync in action

Man in a bar looking down. Barman says, “what’s up?” Man says, “I should go home but I came in here to stave it off.”

Man walks into a bar and says, “I don’t know what I’m doing in here, something just struck a chord with me.”

Woman walks into a bar and her secretary follows. “What do you want?” she asks. The secretary says, “these papers, a key signature is missing.”

Woman walks into a bar. Her husband follows her in and says, “what the hell are you doing in here?” She sighs and says, “I just needed a rest.”

Man walks into a bar and his wife runs in after him and says, “what the hell are you up to?” “Oh don’t worry, I’ll be out in a minim.”

Woman walks into a bar. “No,” she says, I said CROCHET, not CROTCHET.”

Man walks into a bar and says, “how many beats until I get out of here?”

Groan. Go on!

How about these?

A woman walks into a bar and stammers out her order for a large gin and tonic. Barman says, “why the quaver in your voice?”

A man walks into a bar and orders 100 beers. “Ordering on a grand scale, are we, sir?” says the barman.

A young-looking guy walks into a bar. Barman says “sorry, kid, I can’t serve a minor.”

A soldier walks into a bar. “What’ll it be, major?” says the barman. “Half of shandy please, and I’m only a captain.”

A man walks into a bar, slams his fist down hard and shouts, “DOUBLE SCOTCH AND SODA!! RIGHT AWAY!!” Barman says, “now, now. Tempo, tempo…”

OK, I’ll get my coat…Szzz

A man walks into a (musicians') bar

Rhiannon Daniel

Rhiannon Daniel is a former journalist who runs the hilariously-named Kitsch’NSync, an eclectic soft-rock band that performs mostly original songs about love, death, art, resilience, grief, cynicism, spirituality, vulnerability, strength, doubt, music, hope, terror, genocide, apocalypse, hilarity, remorse, blood, tenderness, conflict, addiction, feelings, survival, sex, magic, power and laughter. (Plus a few!) Catch one of their gigs soon: they mainly play venues in the south-east of England.

Come on everyone, it’s your turn now!

photo credit: oskay via photopin cc

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