Advertising taglines that don’t, er, quite work

I spent many years as an advertising copywriter and still do turn my hand to writing this type of material from time to time. One of my favourite elements of ad copy is the tagline, or slogan as it’s sometimes called. They are a lot of fun to write and when well-crafted, do a fine job for the client’s business.

The following taglines from the USA, however, don’t quite hit the target. (Original authors unknown.)

On the van of a plumbing company: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call us.

In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.

At a propane gas filling station: “Tank heaven for little grills.

A Pizza shop slogan: “Buy our pizza. We knead the dough.

Sign over a gynaecologist’s office; “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

At a military hospital-door to endoscopy: “To expedite your visit, please reverse in.

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On another plumber’s truck:  “We repair what your husband fixed.


“7 days without pizza makes one weak.”

Another Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one weak.

At a tyre centre in Milwaukee: “Invite us to your next blowout.

Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: “Let us help pick your nose.

At a car breakdown towing company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.

On a taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.

In a chiropodist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.

Outside a car silencer repair centre: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.

And the sign at a Chicago car radiator workshop: “Best place in town to take a leak.

So – get your advertising taglines right!

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  1. The only answer to Dr. Jones’s “At your cervix” would have to be…”Hello, I’m dilated to meet you!”

  2. Maybe it’s just me, but I think these are great – a bit of humour and word play sets them above the well-honed crowd…

    • Thanks, Gareth! I wish I had written them, and I haven’t the faintest idea who did. Would like to congratulate whoever did it, though.

      • I think these are great.. they have great epitaphs in the states too like ” I told you i was ill ” only in the states eh… lol

        I want a tagline for my business.. come on suze get yer thinkin cap on !! haha x


  3. My favourite one is ‘get fed-up’; I might use it when I cook for my family……. and it might be sooooooo true!
    Great blog, thanks for making me smile!

  4. There is a local company that has adapted the Ford slogan. They are a septic tank cleaning company and their tagline is “Everything you do is driven by us”

  5. I spent some time in the mobile phone industry in my younger days (not THAT long ago thank you….)

    At one point we were running an offer whereby every purchaser of a contract mobile phone would receive a free Pay As You Go phone.

    One manager (not me) emblazoned his shop window with this slightly questionable (and highly sexist) slogan:

    “Buy a mobile phone from me and I’ll give your wife one”


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