Bored with all these reviews of 2013? Try this for a change…

New year,2014,2013,review,humor,funny,jokes, hilariousWhy can’t people be a bit more creative with their reviews of the old year? Hope you enjoy this poetic tribute, inspired by a similar tribute my friend Angelika wrote to the imbeciles who took nearly a week to install her new cooker (stove) recently. Ahem…

The New Year came in with a fabulous smile
Two thousand thirteen would be quite a big mile…
…stone, because we really had suffered
An economy battered, but not buffered.

Here in Britain we still were indulging
In how much our pride was just bulging
At the fame the Olympics had brought us
Even though the expense was atrocious.

Then in April we saw the passing
Of a Baroness known for amassing
Tory votes from the party right minions
And some frightfully good old Etonians.

Maggie Thatcher had gone and God bless her
She had scared the pants off rather lesser
…MPs, gooks and political minions
Merely with her acerbic opinions.

review,2013,humor,funny,poem,poetry,Suzan St Maur,,how to write better

A new-born king, 2013 style…

Then come summer and lo and behold
Prince George was born gently into the fold
Future king was written right on his ticket
Though our Kate told the royals just where to stick it

…when asked to go to a royal location
Gave the finger to old-fart tradition
Instead took her babe to her very own mother’s
And hinted at “f*** off” to the royal others.

And then there was a triumph in tennis
A long-standing, proud, old Britishers’ menace
Although Wimbledon counts internationally
No Brit had won it for years, unhappily.

However our own dear young Andy Murray
Got down there, served and whacked balls in a hurry
Beat the pants off his lovely young rival Djokovic
Consequently became much more famous and very rich.

And what about poor cancer worker St Moo
Whose voluntary work is no doubt new to you?
Her event in July was expertly conducted
With temperatures, however, so ill-adjusted.

In a south British venue without air conditioning
They entertained dozens of medics positioning
Their great good cause for central attention
Dripping sweat with no hope of prevention.

31 degrees C it was on that hot day
Not even a fan to blow heat away
Oh, Brits, why do you fail how to see
…that sometimes the weather is so sh*tty-ee?

And then we got up to the absolute maximum
Where heat in the UK was too ****ing awesome
August the first hit 34 degrees Celsius
No-one in their right mind could have been envious.

Here is a tip for the entrepreneurials
Get off your butts and start working on theorials…
Start thinking climate change not just in tropicals
But here in Britain where weather’s just whopicals.

And the recession? Well, hey, whoop-dee-doo-doo…
Government wallahs deliver the poo-poo
That everything’s going in the perfect direction
Beautifully timed for the general election.

Are we so nearly just out of the sh*t?
Or is it the government’s spinning remit?
I wish I knew just who I really should vote for
But frankly there isn’t a party I’d go for.

The Government gave us a boost to our health
By chopping large chunks from the NHS wealth
Great ideas, buddies! Cut out all good stuff
And persuade our poor patients they’re getting enough.

What about next year, two thousand fourteen?
Here’s what I’d like to share – what I do dream
That life gets much better than some funky App
And we can be “us” alongside high tech cr*p.

blog,writing,news,blogging,Suzan St Maur,,how to write betterWhat’s your wish for 2014? Please share here (in verse if you like!)

And a very happy, healthy, peaceful and prosperous New Year to you all. xx

photo credit: kevin dooley via photopin cc




  1. 2013 has been good
    As I always knew it would!
    As long as the weather doesn’t get wetter,
    I think 2014 can only get better.

    Thanks for mentioning me in this post.
    I wish you happiness and the most
    Wonderful and peaceful year.
    It’ll be great ‘coz we are here 😉

    • Thanks Angelika, you are a star
      A teacher of German of high calibre
      A friend and supporter of this humble site
      Who comments and shares loyally day and night.

      A Happy New Year to you too my dear colleague
      I hope Twenty Fourteen brings you health in the First League
      I’d love to express this in a way predetermined
      But I don’t know how to say Happy New Year in German…