How not to write book reviews on Amazon

Much gnashing of teeth has been heard recently from the bottom-feeders of the book publishing world, about the rather sensitive topic of Amazon reviews.

how not to write book reviews

If you go to the trouble of setting up the review of a book you’ve read (whether on Amazon or elsewhere) your job is to give an honest opinion of it…

There have been several years of laughable scams – too many to document here but voici a few examples to refresh your memory:

Book publishing – scams are alive and well and living in the USA, part 1

Book publishing – scams are alive and well and living in the USA, part 2

Book publishing scams – three stinky examples

Although it took a while, Amazon finally lost its sense of humour a while ago, tightened up the regulations, and stopped allowing obviously fake reviews. No longer will people be able to get reviews from willing workers in countries where English is hardly spoken at all, members of their own family (using the same last name), one person with 18 Amazon accounts in fake names, etc. etc.

But still the scammers wriggle their way around the rules

[Read more…]

Book Review: Divorce Became My Superpower by Caroline Strawson

Here is the story of someone who went through the utter dregs of relationship misery, but managed to climb back up through self-harm and other manifestations of despair, working through her challenges and demons to get up again.

review of Caroline Strawson's book

Caroline Strawson: “Life felt like I was walking in treacle and never really moving forward.”

A relationship literally created up in the skies – and how it crash landed

In Caroline’s very detailed and meticulously catalogued style, we learn the whole autobiography of an experience no-one would wish on their worst enemy. [Read more…]

What to write when someone’s child has died

I will never, never forgive myself for once writing an email to a couple whose premature baby died just a few hours after he was born. In it I wrote, “never mind, you’re young. You can have another one.”  Stupid, ignorant, idiotic cow that I was.

what to write when a child dies

“We need your support, patience, understanding, love and friendship…” Dawn Allen, bereaved parent

At the time, I hadn’t become a parent. And unless you are a parent, it’s hard to understand just what agony the loss of a baby can cause – whether via a miscarriage (even an early one), via an actual birth, and of course later on through childhood and beyond.

It was only once I had a child of my own that it dawned on me what a vile, thoughtless and cruel thing that was to say. Here’s what I have learned that may stop you making similar mistakes… [Read more…]

Stand by for some good laughs … MISCHIEVERSE is out Monday!

You’ve never seen words like this from me before … but you’ll love them, as long as you have a naughty sense of humor. Welcome to Mischieverse!

Mischieverse chapter illustration

Snapshot from one of the chapters in Mischieverse, Suzan St Maur’s new book of naughty poems

My first ever collection of funny poems goes live Monday, September 18th – on all  the Amazons!

It’s potty-mouthed, entertaining and very funny. Here’s what some of the pre-reviewers said… (and I didn’t bribe them…) [Read more…]

MISCHIEVERSE now available to pre-order…am so excited!

My first ever collection of poetry has arrived on Amazon, due for publication September 18th, but you can pre-order your copy or copies NOW!

And surprise, surprise (you know what I’m like) … it’s potty-mouthed, entertaining and very funny. Here’s what some of the pre-reviewers said…

Rude, irreverent and downright filthy … like Johnny Rotten meets Pam Ayres. –Julia Lewis, actor, Their Finest, Supergirl, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm

This wonderful book gave me many laugh-out-loud moments. So many observations that resonated the absurdities of modern life. It’s great to pick up and open a page when the world seems chaotic, and puts a smile on the face immediately. Brilliantly written! –Jane Hatton, founder and CEO, Evenbreak

Snarky, quirky, downright rude, Suze skewers pop culture: its language, fashion, politics, entertainment. Not even family and cherished holidays escape her cutting wit. Through it all, she manages to make us laugh at ourselves and the silliness of contemporary life. –Barbara Grengs, author of the Toby Martin series of children’s mystery novels and Delicate Dames (forthcoming)

An amusing sideways look and anything and everything … the perfect gift –A E Rawson, author of best-selling crime novel, A Savage Art

Mischieverse is Suzan St Maur's first book of naughty, humorous poetry ... coming soon from Corona Books UK.

New book to be published September 18th 2017 … just in time for Holiday gifts!

Some excerpts to give you a flavour…

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It’s the perfect gift for your friends and family who like a naughty laugh. Pre-order your copies of Mischieverse now … and tick off some of your Holiday shopping nice and early! Just click here…
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How to write a tasty restaurant review: introduction, Part 2

If you like eating out and want to share your experiences on Trip Advisor or elsewhere, you need to bookmark this serialisation of the late, great Sam Worthington’s (restaurant critic, not actor!) book. (You can start at the beginning with Part 1 here.)

How to write a tasty restaurant review

This was an earlier cover for Sam’s book – I prefer this one, but Sam’s final choice is below. Which do you like better?

It’s called “How to be a savvy restaurant reviewer” and shares everything you need to know not just about the elements like the food and wine, but also about the whole dining experience which in many ways is as important as what you eat and drink. Read on … and enjoy! [Read more…]

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