Want a naughty gift at the last minute? Read this review

In case you’ve still got a couple of gifts to get for the Big Day next week, you might like to read this review of my dearly beloved book, Mischieverse … adult poems about many of the little things that p*ss us off from day to day.

The review is from Muddy Stillettos, a lively online women’s magazine in the UK. 

Why Mischieverse makes a very good adult Christmas gift

The perfect book for the downstairs toilet…

The perfect stocking filler for the intelligent female in your life…

and we’re sure the blokes will like it too!

Let me start by saying I loved this book of poetry and I think your mums, daughters, sisters and friends will too. Mischieverse is proper rude humour that laughs at life’s every day irritations that you’ll all recognise. It’s social commentary at its wittiest best and perfect for the intelligent people in your life (especially those who don’t take themselves too seriously).

[Read more…]

My children’s book was published last year and isn’t selling. What now?

If you’ve recently published a book and despite all your marketing efforts (and those of your publisher if you have one, although their contribution often is minimal) … it’s not selling well, what do you do?

Children's book not selling what can I do

You don’t need to spend much – if anything – to market and sell your book.

Hmmmm. A lot depends on what you mean by “publisher.”

As many of my readers already know, there are publishers, and then there are publishers. And then there is self-publishing and hybrid publishing and even today, there are still a few vanity publishers around.

Especially if you’re new to the publishing scene, this article will give you a brief overview of the options available now. And if you want to know more about the potential pitfalls, have a look here[Read more…]

My grammar is cr*ppy. Should I correct it as I go along, or leave that to later?

When you’re writing, do you correct any goofs as you go along, or do you go for it “hell for leather” and worry about cleaning up goofs later?
This is something that we writers argue about until blue in the face, but shouldn’t. Why? Everyone is different. (Yeah, that one.)

crappy-grammar-when-to-correct
The purists amongst us usually insist that you should not obstruct your creative flow in its initial stages with such banal things like grammar, spelling, punctuation, syntax and so-on.

No, no, say those purists. You should free-write to get your creative “juices” working (yikes, how I hate that word – makes me think of molten perspiration pumping out body odour). Yuk.

So let’s start at the beginning… [Read more…]

How to write better Terms and Conditions

Getting the Terms and Conditions right is essential for all businesses, and many smaller businesses can write their own, so saving on cost and time. But just as with employment contracts and other formal documentation, getting the “Ts & Cs” wrong, and/or missing important issues, can lead to very costly mistakes. Here, expert Kerry Gibbs, legal account manager at the Northampton (UK) based BEB Consultancy, shares her advice on how to get your Terms and Conditions right…Sz.

How to write better Terms and conditions HTWBWhy are Terms and Conditions so important?

Terms and Conditions are words we hear daily. If we sign up to a gym membership, buy a car or even enter a competition we have to accept the terms and conditions before even being a party to that agreement.  So why is it that not everyone sees the real importance of having them in place when running a small business? [Read more…]

How to make a small fortune out of horses…

…start with a large fortune…!

If you or someone you know loves – or possibly hates – horses, here are some excerpts from an evergreen little book I wrote, The Horse Lover’s Joke Book and its younger sibling, The Pony Lover’s Joke Book. Some are old favourites, but many of them are original, written by moi.

Funny stories and jokes about ponies and horses

Suze and friend (Suze is on the right…) as drawn by caricaturist Simon Ellinas.

Given that there are more than 3 million privately owned horses and ponies in Britain alone, with many of their owners working two jobs to keep the little darlings in comfort, these excerpts will resonate with at least one or two of your friends and acquaintances. Feel free to print this out and share over coffee and cake with them!

Choices
“Why the sad face?” asked one of two riders out on a hack.
“My husband says I have to choose between him and my mare,” replied the second rider.
“Gosh, I’m sorry,” commented the first rider.
“So am I,” replied the second rider. “I’m really going to miss him.” [Read more…]

How To Write Better: thank you, 2 million page viewers in the last 4 years!

More than 2 million page views in 4 years! Nothing could have made me happier than being greeted on my return from Canada (Sept 10th, 2017) to find that our humble How To Write Better (the REAL one) has exceeded the 2 million page view mark since September 1st, 2013.

2 millions page views for HTWB
For a niche site that’s a labour of love (rather than the off-shoot of another site that exists in the USA as part of a large commercial enterprise…) I have to say I am truly proud of our achievements. [Read more…]

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