Mini writing tips: your summer menu on HTWB

I’m off home to Canada soon (August 8th) so will be corresponding with everyone from there, until I return to the UK early in September.

And in case anyone’s wondering what happens to my crazy house here in the UK full of rescued dogs and cats? While I’m away my friends move in with even more crazy dogs. So I pity any poor burglar who tries to get through about seven pairs of snapping jaws. Anyway:

Right now I’m working on some handy mini writing tips for you to use…

what do you want help for in your writing

What can you write to help a friend who is seriously depressed?

[Read more…]

Here’s to our Easter Feaster…

Have you started on the Easter eggs yet? Better read this first… (and a very Happy Easter to you from HTWB!)

Here's to our Easter Feaster...

To paint an eggshell
Is an art few do well

EASTER FEASTER

Here comes our Easter
Well, what a feaster!
Stuffing our faces for four solid days [Read more…]

Poet’s Corner: why is GIN so IN?

First, it was coffee. In a mere 20 years we (in the UK) went from “white coffee” or “black coffee” to 37 or more variants of coffee type, milk blend, preparation, flavouring, size, caffeine content and inside leg measurement. Then more recently, we went from “a gin and” (whatever accompaniment) to more than 30 different brands of it served with dozens of mixers from traditional tonic to golden-flecked puréed mosquito spit.

Poet's Corner: why is GIN so IN?

A great new cocktail called a “Mighty Mickey” – gin, lemon, soda and mouse droppings. (Or are they peppercorns? Hmmm.)

For a pre-dinner restaurant drink I will ask for a gin-and-tonic, but my 26 year-old son will chair a 20-minute discussion with the servers on how each of a dozen brands-and-tonic might best suit his mood of the moment.

Coffee is OK. I even know why a “flat white” and a “latte” are different. However for gin, here is an anthem. (NB: should be sung, but it’s not set to music yet. Still waiting to hear back from Ed Sheeran…) [Read more…]

Writing From The Heart – goodbye, my young friend

If you’ve lost a close friend or family member to cancer, this poem of mine may resonate with you. I wrote it about our beautiful 37-year-old cancer group member who passed away in 2017, leaving behind an 8-year-old daughter.

My language is rude as usual, but this time I don’t apologise other than asterisking out the rudest words. I was angry, as we all are at such a cruel curtailment of a young life.

Writing From The Heart: goodbye, my young friend

RIP Deb, whose favourite colour was blue.

DEATH

Who knows when your number’s up.
Three score years and ten, and then? [Read more…]

OF COURSE – a humorous poem about pompous egocentrics

How to write better humorous poetry … a tribute in verse this time, to people who love to patronise others by prefacing everything they say (almost) with the term “of course.” These people invariably consider themselves (or want to be considered) as superior in knowledge on the topic concerned. And “of course,” by reading what they have to say and taking it in, you are acknowledging their superiority…

Funny poem about the term of course

Hmmm…I don’t think so. Do you? Read on…

OF COURSE

“Of course” is such a snotty term
Used by controlling a-holes
It works its way into a worm
That patronises all souls. [Read more…]

Insidious B*sterds – Writing From The Heart

For this episode of Writing From The Heart please welcome plain English poet Inappropriate Grahame, from Rugby (where the game originated), England. I had the pleasure of meeting Grahame when we were in the famous Hunt’s Bookshop in central Rugby a few weeks ago and I was hugely impressed by both him and his poems. Here is one he wrote recently, describing his thoughts about the USA today. Some strong language, but I have asterisked accordingly for our more sensitive readers…

Poem about an Englishman's view of the USA today

Inappropriate Grahame, Plain English Poet

INSIDIOUS B*STERDS

By Inappropriate Grahame

Look at those people on American TV
they’re twice the size of what humans should be.
With their storage containers, bulging with sh*te
bidding on bunkum night after night.

Pimping their rides to their diners and dives
supersize, uber sized husbands and wives
pistols protruding from four XL trousers [Read more…]

css.php