A horsey smell to your writing?

How to write better horse humour! If you love horses … or even hate them … you’ll appreciate some of the jokes I have curated – and written – in both of my humour books about these noble creatures: this one about horses, and this one about ponies, but essentially they work as a pair in helping us find humour despite the damned animals costing us fortunes while capturing our hearts.

A horsey smell to your writing?

Big brave horse … LOL…

Many of the jokes I have shared are traditional ones (i.e.out of copyright and free for us all the share.) But, many of the other gags and sequences are original. Hope you like them! And if you want some tips on how to write, curate and adapt jokes, check out this category here. Writing and curating jokes and other humour is a part of professional writing that I truly love, and that seems to attract a lot of interest here on HTWB.

Meanwhile, here are some of my favourite written horsey jokes…enjoy!

[Read more…]

Chicken humor in writing … clucking hilarious!

Warning: if you’re a poultry eater, do not keep chickens as pets – if you do, you’ll never touch alimentary chicken again, despite it being what most omnivores consider to be a healthy option. Almost every day I read stories of chickens rescued from the battery prisons to live their lives out with kind families who love them as pets.

Jokes about chickens

Whether you love chickens to eat, or as pets, or both … here are some jokes to lighten up these dull days of UK winter!

If I were to rescue battery chickens I would be every bit as soppy about them as I am about the other animals I rescue, but, er, let’s not go there now. Farmers, on the other hand, regard chickens as products; sad, I know, but their work feeds the world a lot better than I do. Sooo … enjoy!

Writing jokes about chickens doesn’t harm anyone (even chickens)

Given that we laugh at most things these days – especially written jokes about all sorts of things – here is a selection of some we find the funniest. [Read more…]

Sheep jokes … no, not THOSE – funny ones!

Sheep jokes have a dubious reputation due to many people’s assumptions about what lonely shepherds and farmers get up to with them, but there is hope.

clean sheep jokes

I may be a (male) woolly jumper, but avoid encountering my horns if you want to go on to your full life expectancy.

Here are some sheep jokes that manage to be funny without even hinting at anything too rude. Enjoy! (And while we’re on this topic, whatever you do, don’t tangle with a ram unless he is particularly stupid, as this true story of mine explains…) [Read more…]

Written rules for dogs, cats and humans

No matter how much we love our dogs and cats, there comes a time when we humans need to lay down the law. (A bit.) And equally, we pet lovers need to set out the rules for humans who visit and might turn up their nose at a stray cat hair in their eye or a doggy footprint on their incredibly expensive, light beige suede coat. Who cares?

rules for dogs, cats and humans

Don’t think I will sleep on the couch just because you need to stretch out on my bed. (Well, not always, anyway…)

Here are some useful guidelines to help us map out appropriate rules for all concerned in our homes. Original rule compiler unknown, but I concur absolutely with their thoughts… [Read more…]

Cat-chup on your feline humor…

Whether you love cats or hate them, they are an endless source of entertainment and the butt of many jokes. And thankfully, they’ve got a way of always having the last laugh on us…as I’m sure nearly every cat owner in the world already knows!
funny jokes about cats on HTWB

Scratch that

Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. “Don’t worry,” my husband reassured me. “I’ll have him trained in no time.” [Read more…]

Writing about horses: a poem for car and truck-lorry drivers

On the increasingly rare occasions when you see horses being ridden on out the road, please bear in mind that they were out on those roads long before cars and even before the ever-popular and self-righteous bicycle. (Well, some self-righteous bicycle riders, anyway.)

Here’s a short ode, excerpted from the forthcoming “Mischieverse: rude humour that sort-of rhymes” to remind truck/lorry drivers, in particular, that despite your best efforts not to scare our noble steeds a little mechanical quirk can have disastrous consequences…(but unlike bicycle riders, we thank you for your courtesy anyway!)

Funny poems about horses on HTWB

Please wait till we’re truly past, or you’ll need to revive us!

HORSES ON THE HIGHWAY

Some motorists are very kind
To horses somewhat heated
You slow and stop, with engines off,
So we can remain seated. [Read more…]

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