Canadiana in writing: a few fun facts about our Thanksgiving

At this time of year we Canucks celebrate a successful harvest and show our gratitude by gorging ourselves on a significant proportion of the produce we slaved all year to grow and store.

Our tasty pumpkin pie, complete with maple leaf decorations to establish its Canadian-ness. Those cranberries are a good idea, too. Yum.

Unlike the Americans we don’t wait until ten minutes before Christmas / Hanukkah / other winter celebrations to get this done when anywhere North American folks other than in southern states are beginning to need to put on their woolly knickers and cosy pyjamas (a.k.a. ‘pajamas‘ in North America).

We snotty Canucks prefer to do it at a time when the seasons are changing inspiringly, leaves on our trees are turning vivid gold, orange, bronze and other flaming colours, and the air has changed from the sultry, humid warmth of summer to the crisp invigoration of ‘the fall’ before it starts to freeze our private parts and make us scrape snow and ice off our cars in the mornings, as shown below. [Read more…]

An English writing grammar fiend walks into a bar…

You may think you’ve heard all the jokes about ‘A xxxx walks into a bar,’ but I guarantee the majority of you won’t have heard all of the following. English language lovers will adore them and even grammar fiends and fascists might crack a smile.

horse in bar

A horse walks into a bar. “Why the long face?” asks the barman. “I’m a horse.”

I have tried to find the original author but it seems these have been circulating on the internet for some time so have become embedded in the ‘anonymous’ category as far as I know.

If any of you know otherwise, please let me know on suze@suzanstmaur.com and of course I will accredit the right people.

In the meantime I thank my good friend and fellow business networker Anne Bryant for flagging this up to me on my Facebook page

The ultimate writing about ‘walking into a bar’ – bar none

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. [Read more…]

Why entrepreneurs have much to learn from little old ladies

Have you ever been done over by a clever little old lady? This bank president had … and the lesson he learned was that entrepreneurial skills are not merely the domain of young, thrusting Type A people.

It took the wit and deviousness of this elderly lady to bring two very senior professionals down to size in this allegedly (hmmm) true story…

joke about balls

I’ll bet you $25,000 that your b*lls are square.

How to outwit your opposition

[Read more…]

Grammar: do you write ESTs when they should be ERs?

It’s not exactly the end of the world, but did you know if you only have two children you don’t have an ‘oldest’ or ‘eldest?’

writing tips
(Or a ‘youngest,’ for that matter.) Everyone today seems to forget that the suffix ‘est’ should only be used when writing/talking about more than two items, people, etc. If it’s just two, the suffix is ‘er.’ And by the way…

‘Elder-eldest’ or ‘older-oldest?’
According to Merriam Webster, ‘elder’ and ‘eldest’ are only
used to refer to persons, whereas ‘older’ and ‘oldest’ are
used to refer to both persons and things.
More on the
detail of that here if you’re interested! [Read more…]

Want some help to write your next book? Here’s a useful update

Do you have a great idea for a book, but don’t know how to go about writing and producing it?
Does writing a book seem a lovely idea, but as such a large project is a bit scary – especially if it’s your first one?

Get your book written and published - without the scams

That wonderful feeling when your new book is actually published and out there…me with my latest. (And over-bleached hair – apologies.) Photo by Kate Everall https://www.kateeverallphotography.com/

The help you need to write your book and get it out there

[Read more…]

Writing accidents: whatever happened to Spoonerisms?

Do you ever jumble up your words and come up with an entertaining alternative? Pity then, for poor old Reverend Spooner, whose jumbling up of words and phrases had his students at New College, Oxford rolling in the aisles laughing in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

article about Spoonerisms

Great minds like a think (Great minds think alike)

To quote Wikikpedia:
Spoonerisms are named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844–1930), Warden of New College, Oxford, who was notoriously prone to this mistake.[3][4] The term “Spoonerism” was well established by 1921.

Approximate Spoonerisms I’ve written for some of our favourite personalities:

Jealous Boxin’ (Boris Johnson)

Trumbald Dump (Donald Trump)

Mawistful Tray (Theresa May) [Read more…]

css.php