Help us judge the Spam Of The Month Awards

Will you help us out here? We want to award a can of Spam to the writer of the funniest spam of the month but can’t make up our minds from the following. Which do you think deserves this glittering accolade?

Funny spam on HTWB

Have a look at your spam before you delete it … some of it is hilarious!

Speaking on behalf of all of us writers I love reading what other people write, especially when it’s the crazy, mashed-up bullsh*t you find in your spam folders. Most of it is complete gibberish, of course, but now and then I find a few little nuggets that make me laugh.

Spam Of The Month Award (SOTMA): the shortlist

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Horse racing humour – jokes from the final furlong

Whether you enjoy the occasional flutter on the UK’s Grand National … or are a committed “form” expert punting away every week (…or just someone who enjoys a good laugh!) … this week’s #SundaySmile shares funny stories from the horse racing world…

Jokes about horse racing

The Shetland Pony Grand National … madness in miniature!

Who’s racing whom?
An elderly gentleman finally achieved his lifelong ambition and bought a race horse. But it didn’t seem to have much energy, so the old man got the vet in to look at him.
“This horse is very old,” said the vet.
“But will I be able to race him?” asked the old man.
“I expect so,” replied the vet. “And you’ll probably win.”

Bigger than…
A Texan racehorse trainer was visiting Newmarket, and got chatting with an English trainer in a pub.  [Read more…]

What it’s REALLY like to be a child

In honour of “back to school” time in many countries this week…
Many thanks to the original author of this piece that shares what it was like to be a child back in the dark ages of pre-WWW…of course we’re all too young to remember those days, aren’t we? But read on out of interest, anyway…LOL…

How to tell if you're getting old

We had friends – we went outside and found them.

According to today’s regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s probably shouldn’t have survived, because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked. [Read more…]

Want to write better? Some advice in (humorous) verse…

Fed up with reading articles on how to write better? Try a quick lesson in verse, instead … fresh from my hard-working keyboard. (And if you’d like to read some more funny poems, see here…)

funny poem about how to write better

HOW TO WRITE BETTER

Grammar fascists please take note now
Better not play games with me
Split infinitives then gloat how
You have got away scot-free…

Nor will stupid, foolish use of
Apostrophes in the wrong place
Get you more than my own tough love
(More likely a hard slap-ped face.) [Read more…]

Humor from one of the world’s masters: Bob Hope

On his death bed, they asked Bob Hope where he wanted to be buried.
His answer was, “surprise me.”

Bob Hope and Ann Jillian entertain troups

Bob Hope and Ann Jillian perform for military personnel at the USO Christmas Tour during Operation Desert Shield.

If you remember Bob Hope, you’ll really enjoy this. For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents and thanks for the memories.

This is a tribute to a man who DID make a difference.

[Read more…]

More hilarious goofs from the UK’s Daily Fail…

As it’s coming up to the Festive Season I thought today we could have a few more laughs at some other professional writers’ boo-boos (please feel free to laugh at mine in exchange, Daily Failers.) As always the comments have been copied and pasted verbatim.

more funny jokes from the UK Daily Fail

Now he’s been elected, there’ll be Hell toupée.

So … as you know, unless you have been living under a rock on the dark side of the moon for the past year or so, in the West we have been enduring a flutter of political, er, activity. Hence we start with some jestful comments about Hillary Clinton

And Clinton certainly seemed to have a penchant for statement jewelry back in the day as well, wearing several pairs of bold earrings and even a layered pearl choker.
It’s surprising that her earlobes aren’t longer than a Basset Hound‘s.

As election day looms closer Hillary ups the anti in a colour blocking blue suit in New York
I doubt it was the blue suit that upped the anti – more likely Trump‘s insults. I think you mean “ante,” dear. [Read more…]

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