Why English is a lunatic language – listen, learn and laugh

Have you ever tried to explain to a non-native English speaker how pronunciations in English are, er, a little difficult to understand?

English language humour

I’m just going to stop here and let you laugh as hard as I did when I first listened to this…

Here follows the most delightful and funny exposé of English language lunacy that I’ve heard in a long time.

English language lunacy only needs a short introduction

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Jokes about poultry: feathered feasts on the menu

If you like poultry and eating it in good restaurants, as I do, you’ll love this small excerpt of foodie jokes from my eBook “The Food Lover’s Joke Book.”

chicken jokes

NASA: defrost the chicken first.

Les Volailles (Poultry)

Stricken chicken
In a small roadside bistro in rural Italy, two British tourists had pulled in to have lunch. Not wanting to admit that they spoke no Italian, the wife thought they’d be safe enough when they ordered “Pollo alla Ferrari.” It turned out to be chicken that had been run over by a sports car.

Cold turkey
A couple went to have dinner at a restaurant known for its house speciality, a turkey dish. “How exactly do you prepare the turkey?” asked the woman as the head waiter brought them their menus. [Read more…]

How to insult nicely in writing, with business jargon…

Jargon and slang as metaphors are wonderful tools to use if you want to insult or express rage in a business context without swearing or ranting.

business jargon and slang to use when youre angry

MBWA: Management By Wandering Around, suggesting that managers simply walk around rather than do their jobs properly…

Here is a selection for you to keep handy, excerpted from my jolly little book English Business Jargon and Slang…  [Read more…]

20 more classic Bob Hope quotes

If you’re old enough to remember Bob Hope, you’ll love this second collection of his quotes (my first has had more than 26,000 page views). And even if you’re younger you’ll have heard of this brilliant humorist’s wit and hilarity – not to mention his charity work and support of Allied Forces during WWII, and US Forces during other periods of conflict.

Funny jokes by Bob Hope

The late Bob Hope

With thanks to Brainy.com, A-Z Quotes, Great QuotesJokes4Us and other sites from which I made this selection.

More hilarious quotes from Bob Hope

The program is nearly over! I can feel the audience is still with me but if I run faster I can shake them off

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. [Read more…]

Know your business jargon and slang? Win a free mention and link on HTWB!

Do you know your business jargon and slang? Of course you do!

Get all 10 of these brain-twizzlers right and I’ll give your business a free plug

Business jargon and slangJust pick the right answers (no cheating or Googling, although I’ll forgive you if you buy a copy of my new book in which all the right answers appear…) [Read more…]

Writing on Facebook – a, er, lightbulb moment?

Although the “how many to change a lightbulb” joke is very old, its use here in connection with Facebook is hilarious – all the more so because it’s so embarrassingly true.

how many posters to change a light bulb on Facebook

…5 to post to the page that they will no longer post or are leaving because they cannot handle the $!%cking light bulb controversy.

Many thanks to our occasional columnist and good friend Lynn Tulip for curating this and posting it in my own Facebook group, The Joke Street Journal.  Original author unknown but whoever you are, thanks! Enjoy…

Q: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb on Facebook?

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