20 more classic Bob Hope quotes

If you’re old enough to remember Bob Hope, you’ll love this second collection of his quotes (my first has had more than 26,000 page views). And even if you’re younger you’ll have heard of this brilliant humorist’s wit and hilarity – not to mention his charity work and support of Allied Forces during WWII, and US Forces during other periods of conflict.

Funny jokes by Bob Hope

The late Bob Hope

With thanks to Brainy.com, A-Z Quotes, Great QuotesJokes4Us and other sites from which I made this selection.

More hilarious quotes from Bob Hope

The program is nearly over! I can feel the audience is still with me but if I run faster I can shake them off

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. [Read more…]

Know your business jargon and slang? Win a free mention and link on HTWB!

Do you know your business jargon and slang? Of course you do!

Get all 10 of these brain-twizzlers right and I’ll give your business a free plug

Business jargon and slangJust pick the right answers (no cheating or Googling, although I’ll forgive you if you buy a copy of my new book in which all the right answers appear…) [Read more…]

Writing on Facebook – a, er, lightbulb moment?

Although the “how many to change a lightbulb” joke is very old, its use here in connection with Facebook is hilarious – all the more so because it’s so embarrassingly true.

how many posters to change a light bulb on Facebook

…5 to post to the page that they will no longer post or are leaving because they cannot handle the $!%cking light bulb controversy.

Many thanks to our occasional columnist and good friend Lynn Tulip for curating this and posting it in my own Facebook group, The Joke Street Journal.  Original author unknown but whoever you are, thanks! Enjoy…

Q: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb on Facebook?

[Read more…]

Writing names for new weed products in Stonetario, Canada…

With recent news in Ontario, Canada that manufacturers of drinks and other products are keen to get in on Canada’s incoming legalisation of fun-filled weed, here are some suggestions for bespoke brand names that will take the new market by storm…

Let's all get high in Ontario

Not to be smoked with a pinch of salt…

Names for new cannabis drink and food products: some ideas

Doctor Potter

A & W Cream Stoner [Read more…]

True-ish written facts about England in the 1500s…

It’s hard to know where humor starts and history leaves off here, but some of the following are ridiculous enough to be true. Click on the links to see what others have said about these popular sayings…

What did bringing home the bacon mean in the 15th century?

Do you “bring home the bacon” and then “chew the fat?”

Barely bathing
Most people got married in June, because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, next all the other sons and men, next the women and finally the children; last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it; hence the saying, [Read more…]

Why I don’t mind writing that I’m going away

If you’re about to go off on a vacation/holiday, it makes a lot of sense not to say so on your social media as you don’t want to announce to the burglary community that your home will be empty and undefended for two weeks. Such is the advice given very widely by Police forces and other worthies.

How to deter burglars

Do mechanical and electronic security devices really work to deter burglars?

I was pondering this today as I get ready for my annual pilgrimage back home to Ontario, Canada, and had to smile at the thought of what some poor burglars would find if they tried to give my house a working over…

Four sets of very sharp canine teeth and a Taekwondo black belter

[Read more…]

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