Better ways to write (almost) everything
Here are some ideas for new words which I am hoping to submit for consideration to these august establishments. But first, please read them through and let me know what you think?
Distemper, n. Personality disorder arising from losing your temper too often
AhI (Artificial hIntelligence), n. Human reality checks despised by AI developers
Amehzing, adj. Averagely amazing
Awescum, adj. Mediocre, dreary, flaky. Opposite of ‘awesome’ [Read more…]
At this time of year we Canucks celebrate a successful harvest and show our gratitude by gorging ourselves on a significant proportion of the produce we slaved all year to grow and store.
Our tasty pumpkin pie, complete with maple leaf decorations to establish its Canadian-ness. Those cranberries are a good idea, too. Yum.
Unlike the Americans we don’t wait until ten minutes before Christmas / Hanukkah / other winter celebrations to get this done when anywhere North American folks other than in southern states are beginning to need to put on their woolly knickers and cosy pyjamas (a.k.a. ‘pajamas‘ in North America).
We snotty Canucks prefer to do it at a time when the seasons are changing inspiringly, leaves on our trees are turning vivid gold, orange, bronze and other flaming colours, and the air has changed from the sultry, humid warmth of summer to the crisp invigoration of ‘the fall’ before it starts to freeze our private parts and make us scrape snow and ice off our cars in the mornings, as shown below. [Read more…]
By popular demand, another sneaky, nasty grammar quiz. The last one got hundreds of comments and likes and I’m told customers and staff in a certain UK fashion house nearly came to blows arguing over it.
This time we’re looking for apostrophes … nasty little b*ggers they are, too…
No cheating now! Answers are below… [Read more…]
You may think you’ve heard all the jokes about ‘A xxxx walks into a bar,’ but I guarantee the majority of you won’t have heard all of the following. English language lovers will adore them and even grammar fiends and fascists might crack a smile.
A horse walks into a bar. “Why the long face?” asks the barman. “I’m a horse.”
I have tried to find the original author but it seems these have been circulating on the internet for some time so have become embedded in the ‘anonymous’ category as far as I know.
If any of you know otherwise, please let me know on suze@suzanstmaur.com and of course I will accredit the right people.
In the meantime I thank my good friend and fellow business networker Anne Bryant for flagging this up to me on my Facebook page …
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. [Read more…]
I can’t afford to offer a trip for two to Las Vegas as a prize, but this quiz could keep you busy during quiet moments in the next few days. Answers at the bottom. (No cheating – look later!)
What do you feel are the most common wrongly spelled words in English?
And what really is infuriating is the way that simple spelling mistakes tend to creep in only because our own ‘word blindness’ – especially when we are writing extensively for business or other occupations – is largely to blame for our errors.
(That, and the fact that the English language has fewer rules to help us than a dog has when choosing which tree to pee on.)
Never mind: let’s have a laugh with the following:
Have you ever been done over by a clever little old lady? This bank president had … and the lesson he learned was that entrepreneurial skills are not merely the domain of young, thrusting Type A people.
It took the wit and deviousness of this elderly lady to bring two very senior professionals down to size in this allegedly (hmmm) true story…
I’ll bet you $25,000 that your b*lls are square.
Suzan St Maur
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Potty-mouthed "adult" poems to have you laughing your head off - preferably in the downstairs toilet or bathroom...by yours truly Suzan St Maur.
Amazon bestseller every Holiday Season since 2001! This little book is a firm favourite with horsey families and makes the ideal gift for anyone who loves riding. Compiled by Suzan St Maur.
---------------------------------------------------------The no-bullsh*t guide to writing blogs that boost your brand, business and customer loyalty..."At long last, some common sense writing about how businesses can use blogging effectively." Written by Suzan St Maur.
---------------------------------------------------------"This book is by no means all encompassing, but in it author Suzan St Maur has researched and shared several hundred of the most commonly used terms. Not only do we now know what they all mean but, where appropriate, we also learn their origins – some of which are fascinating and very surprising."
---------------------------------------------------------Great little book for anyone who enjoys dining out and wants to learn the right issues to write about in reviews for Trip Advisor etc. Written by the late Sam Worthington, superb chef, restaurant critic and bon viveur...
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Thinking of writing a book? Don't spoil it by cheating its Amazon rank - here's a caught-'em-bang-to-rights example of how easy (and dishonest) it is to make it a fake 'Amazon No.1 bestseller' ... bit.ly/2QdhvP5
Networking with @MIBA Networking Milton Keynes and learning about Pinterest from Jules White. Great meeting!
Some amusing queries!
World’s Worst Query Letters and Book Proposals For November, 2019!
writersweekly.com
Oh, yes! We know you’re excited!! Today, we’re going to share another installment of our popular column. Get ready to chuckle!
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