Pony jokes for daughters (and you may need them too)

Pony-mad children are gathering momentum for the northern hemisphere’s equestrian extravaganzas as schools close down for the summer.

Funny jokes about ponies

What’s the difference between a pony and a banana? Have you ever tried to peel a pony?

As most parents and other adult relatives/friends will know, such activities breed very high levels of adolescent hormones and resultant stress, anxiety, petulance, tantrums, sheer bloody mindedness and more: mainly, if not almost exclusively, amongst girls.

And these can cover a very wide range of disciplines, even within the pony confines. For example: [Read more…]

Why banks should never mess with Seniors…

High five to the 82-year-old lady who wrote this letter to her branch of the Toronto Dominion Bank. I understand that despite the online banking robots taking over most of the bank’s activities, there were a couple of humans still around who were duly humbled by the following. Enjoy.

why banks shouldn't take on old ladies

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.

Dear Sirs/Mesdames:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. [Read more…]

Texting code for seniors

Those of us looking down the barrel of old age (not yet, so don’t start spamming me, Saga…) should be grateful to my lovely friend Laurence H., who forwarded this handy list of texting codes especially for seniors. Be sure to print it out and retain it for your future needs…

Jokes about seniors sending texts

NNTR – No Nap Time Required

Laurence writes … “teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.). Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snot-nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes! Although most of us are not even close to senior status I thought you should know their codes in case you get one from a senior.”

I have added a few extra ones of my own, for good measure..

Texting for Seniors as follows:

AKA – Always Kicking *ss [Read more…]

How NOT to write for millennials

I am so thrilled to welcome back our favourite young columnist here on HTWB, the one and only Jackson Rawlings who now writes for much posher publications including Huffington Post and Medium. Here, though, he gives us old goats some sharp, short advice on how not to write to and for millennials…take heed, those born before 1980! Sz x

lauren-peng-43963-unsplashI happened to catch the end of a TV soap the other day. I’m not someone who usually indulges in that kind of show, but on that occasion, my interest was piqued.

There were a couple of characters on screen who would be what I’d describe as millennials — probably in their mid-twenties — having a conversation with each other, which went something like this:

“Oh my god I can’t believe he said that, it’s like when “celebrity” did “celebrity thing” and I was like “what?”

“I know right? Hashtag fail”.

I’m paraphrasing from memory, but trust me, the actual scene was equally awful and stilted. [Read more…]

Boyfriends or ponies? Key differences, for teenage girls

Does your teenage daughter love ponies, boys, or both? With the school holidays imminent in the northern hemisphere, teenage girls in many countries will be weighing up this major dilemma.

To help them, and to help parents help them, here are some, er, useful tips…

Boyfriends or ponies? Key differences, for teenage girls

Ponies do not normally get big problems with zits

Why ponies are better than boyfriends

Ponies’ feet and shoes usually don’t smell, unlike a boyfriend’s stinky socks and trainers [Read more…]

Funny farewells to the college year for students & graduates

As college students celebrate the end of the academic year in many countries worldwide, here are some clever, funny jokes to help get the parties started…

Students & Graduates: your funniest farewells to the college year!

Too much celebrating? You may still get a “B”…

Obeying orders
A college graduate applied for a job at the Central Intelligence Agency.
Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor.
As soon as the young man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the packet.
Inside, a message read: “You’re our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor.” [Read more…]

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