Thunder-struck writing with a twitchy dog

Writing – or any other activity that demands peace, quiet and concentration – can be badly disrupted by the thunderstorms we’re experiencing in the UK right now. But no disruption is quite as noticeable as a large dog trying to get up and sit on your head while you’re working because she’s terrified of thunderstorms.

There is a solution though, and here it emerges in verse!

Thunder-struck writing with a twitchy dog

Does thunder make your heart go boom?
And make your writing shaky?
Do you jump and shriek
At the slightest streak
Of lightning’s wakey-wakey?

poem about dog scared of thunderstorms

Try to tell a frightened canine thunder’s loud but means no harm…

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Poem for a hot summer day

I’ve lost my gin in the greenhouse

by Andrea Kingston

Please welcome Andrea Kingston, a retired GP (family doctor) who volunteers with me in our local cancer group and – it turns out – is also a talented and hilarious poet! Here is one of hers I particularly enjoyed…

I’ve lost my gin in the greenhouse
Well goodness, gracious me!
As the glass is green
It remains unseen
And I’m thirsty don’t you see?

funny poem about lost gin

“Where’s my gin? I’m still in the greenhouse.”

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Trying to write and sweat at the same time…

If you’re working from home and do not benefit from the rewards (hopefully healthful) of working in a fully airconditioned office building, right now during COVID-19 issues anyway … have a read. I sympathise. And right at the bottom is a suggestion to take a leaf out of our Canadians’ book…

SWEET, SWEATY SUMMER

It’s 34 degrees outside
Perfect for dear old Dubai
But western Bedfordshire’s not quite
So suited to such temps that high.

I open all my windows up
Expecting cooler air to share
Oh, “wrongeroonie” I exclaim
It’s f***ing hellish-hot out there!

funny poem about working during a heatwave with no air conditioning

As I sweat and look just ghastly, I think back to babyhood…

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Enjoying your Zoom meetings? Really?

Much as we owe many of our small (and bigger) businesses’ survival to the likes of Zoom, MS Teams and other platforms during this Coronavirus pandemic, some meetings are more successful than others.
.
funny poem about zoom meetingsHere’s a short, sharp ode to the less-than-comfortable type, attended by a group consisting mainly of women… (probably in the public sector)

The not-so-good Zoomie

It’s ten to nine and nearly time
For this morning’s Zoomie
Rush to put some makeup on
So I don’t look too mushroomie.

Put a bra on – flippetty-flop
Spray the hair with fumies
Put on top from dear Top Shop
And find some fresh joggeroomies. [Read more…]

Working from home: a funny ‘pome’

Fed up with working from home? Fed up with lockdown, even though now that it’s lifting slowly? Are you sure??? Enjoy!

funny poem about lockdown, coronavirus and wokring from home

AFTER LOCKDOWN
The woes of working from home

I wish I weren’t so stuck at home
These walls are too familiar
I’m sick of being here on my own
Sat on my fat posterior.

Those curtains I once thought were great
Of such design seduction
Now make me want to masticate
Puke up my latest luncheon. [Read more…]

Diary of a self-isolator: After Lockdown

Here’s a little verse or three to make us think about what happens next…enjoy.

I’m sick of being here on my own, sat on my fat posterior.

AFTER LOCKDOWN
Office workers’ quandary

I wish I weren’t so stuck at home
These walls are too familiar
I’m sick of being here on my own
Sat on my fat posterior.

[Read more…]

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