OF COURSE – a humorous poem about pompous egocentrics

How to write better humorous poetry … a tribute in verse this time, to people who love to patronise others by prefacing everything they say (almost) with the term “of course.” These people invariably consider themselves (or want to be considered) as superior in knowledge on the topic concerned. And “of course,” by reading what they have to say and taking it in, you are acknowledging their superiority…

Funny poem about the term of course

Hmmm…I don’t think so. Do you? Read on…

OF COURSE

“Of course” is such a snotty term
Used by controlling a-holes
It works its way into a worm
That patronises all souls. [Read more…]

A horsey smell to your writing?

How to write better horse humour! If you love horses … or even hate them … you’ll appreciate some of the jokes I have curated – and written – in both of my humour books about these noble creatures: this one about horses, and this one about ponies, but essentially they work as a pair in helping us find humour despite the damned animals costing us fortunes while capturing our hearts.

A horsey smell to your writing?

Big brave horse … LOL…

Many of the jokes I have shared are traditional ones (i.e.out of copyright and free for us all the share.) But, many of the other gags and sequences are original. Hope you like them! And if you want some tips on how to write, curate and adapt jokes, check out this category here. Writing and curating jokes and other humour is a part of professional writing that I truly love, and that seems to attract a lot of interest here on HTWB.

Meanwhile, here are some of my favourite written horsey jokes…enjoy!

[Read more…]

Insidious B*sterds – Writing From The Heart

For this episode of Writing From The Heart please welcome plain English poet Inappropriate Grahame, from Rugby (where the game originated), England. I had the pleasure of meeting Grahame when we were in the famous Hunt’s Bookshop in central Rugby a few weeks ago and I was hugely impressed by both him and his poems. Here is one he wrote recently, describing his thoughts about the USA today. Some strong language, but I have asterisked accordingly for our more sensitive readers…

Poem about an Englishman's view of the USA today

Inappropriate Grahame, Plain English Poet

INSIDIOUS B*STERDS

By Inappropriate Grahame

Look at those people on American TV
they’re twice the size of what humans should be.
With their storage containers, bulging with sh*te
bidding on bunkum night after night.

Pimping their rides to their diners and dives
supersize, uber sized husbands and wives
pistols protruding from four XL trousers [Read more…]

Help us judge the Spam Of The Month Awards

Will you help us out here? We want to award a can of Spam to the writer of the funniest spam of the month but can’t make up our minds from the following. Which do you think deserves this glittering accolade?

Funny spam on HTWB

Have a look at your spam before you delete it … some of it is hilarious!

Speaking on behalf of all of us writers I love reading what other people write, especially when it’s the crazy, mashed-up bullsh*t you find in your spam folders. Most of it is complete gibberish, of course, but now and then I find a few little nuggets that make me laugh.

Spam Of The Month Award (SOTMA): the shortlist

[Read more…]

Writing jokes about New Year: a selection of the best

How to write better jokes … If you’re hurrying to write your New Year’s resolutions, here are some humorous ideas to give you (and your dog, and your horse) inspiration … curated from some of the best sources on the internet. I’ve included a sample from each, so enjoy…!

Writing jokes about New Year: a selection of the best
Unijokes (one or two of their jokes are a little risqué)
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.”

OneLineFun
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter. [Read more…]

Seasonal poetry and posts written to get you through the Holidays…

Are you still feeling in a festive mood but could do with a few smiles to ease the slight feeling of suspended animation you get between Christmas and New Years?

Seasonal poetry and posts written to get you through the Holidays...

That feeling of suspended animation between Christmas and New Years…

To fill that gap, here is a curated selection of seasonal contributions to HTWB over the last few years. Enjoy! [Read more…]

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