Some jokes written specially for Labor Day

A few written chuckles for Labor Day – to accompany our heartfelt wishes of luck to all of you threatened by the monster Hurricane Dorian and other storms this year.Labor Day 2019Labor Day celebrates the contribution of workers to North Americans’ economy. North Americans celebrate it by not working.

A woman came home from work and ranted about her boss. She said, “I’m never going to work for that man again!”
“Why, what did he say to you?”
“You’re fired.”

I’m going to spend Labor Day putting my liver to work. [Read more…]

Writing accidents: whatever happened to Spoonerisms?

Do you ever jumble up your words and come up with an entertaining alternative? Pity then, for poor old Reverend Spooner, whose jumbling up of words and phrases had his students at New College, Oxford rolling in the aisles laughing in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

article about Spoonerisms

Great minds like a think (Great minds think alike)

To quote Wikikpedia:
Spoonerisms are named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844–1930), Warden of New College, Oxford, who was notoriously prone to this mistake.[3][4] The term “Spoonerism” was well established by 1921.

Approximate Spoonerisms I’ve written for some of our favourite personalities:

Jealous Boxin’ (Boris Johnson)

Trumbald Dump (Donald Trump)

Mawistful Tray (Theresa May) [Read more…]

Some alternative conversation starters for networking events

Recently I tripped over an article I had saved a few years ago about conversation starters to help break the ice at business networking events. Given that a while has passed since the article was published I thought I would use its thoughts as a basis for a, er, new article on how to create a little fun with business networking conversation starters today.

comedy article about business networking

“Hello. Is this your first time at this event?”

With many thanks and commiserations to the original author of this article: I would love to have credited you properly but as my admin systems are a mess, voilà. Sorry. Message me and I will make amends. Promise.

My evil thoughts about the following:

1) “Well, while we’re here, I might as well introduce myself.” Give them a dark look, then say “I was just on my way to the toilet. Shall we go and introduce ourselves there?” [Read more…]

How to write insults without swearing

UPDATED JULY 20, 2019. Further to our recent article about whether women should write swearwords or not, here is an updated and expanded version of some glorious, clean (well, cleanish) insults sent to me a couple of years ago by my cousin Alyson in Ottawa, Canada.

funny article about insults

William Shakespeare, King Lear

William Shakespeare was a master of insults, as you can see from above. That full quote, said by Lear to his daughter Goneril (why does her name always make me think of a sexually transmitted disease?) goes as follows:

“Thou art a boil, A plague-sore or embossèd carbuncle, In my corrupted blood.” Gee thanks, Dad. More of Willie’s best insults below. Meanwhile…

There was the exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”  He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” [Read more…]

Déjà vu jokes … plus a few more, 2019

Updated and republished July 13th, 2019: Déjà Vu for You Too? Some updated smiles for you …

Thanks to Nigel Jamie Bangs who originally shared this gag on my Facebook group, The Joke Street Journal (please join if you want some good laughs.) The original thought was this: Deja poo jokesAnd that got me thinking. So I started writing…..and writing…..and writing……and I came up with the following. Now in July 2019 I have come up with a few more. But … let’s get you thinking of even more!

Déjà Boo:  Boring people with ghost stories when it isn’t Halloween

Déjà Blue: Long-standing UK Conservative / US Democrat voter [Read more…]

So we love puns, right? Here are even more

Haunted French pancakes give me the crèpes. Here’s another handful of puns (there may be one or two duplications from earlier collections) to give us some clever smiles for this post-Independence Day, post-Canada Day weekend.

And yes: I am a newly converted Punthusiast. Here’s a Suze original to start us off:
After my car accident I called St Christopher a lying old fraud. I couldn’t have insulted a Saint Maur.
(OK, I’ll get my coat.)

more puns on HTWB

Meanwhile the latest punsations as provided, once again, by my dear friend Laurence H. from London, England:

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish. [Read more…]

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