...a goldmine of writing help
I’m not much of a punster myself but so many of you folks are I thought you’d enjoy these. I’ve never seen them before but they were brought to my attention by my dear friend Laurence H. from London, England, and they even made me laugh — !
Let’s start off with one I just thought of … I was going to invest in a new comedy TV show, but I realised it was a Punzi scheme.
1) The meaning of opaque is unclear. [Read more…]
Amazingly today is yet another public holiday (May 27th 2019) amounting to at least three in the countries that I know of. ( UK: Easter, May Day and this one, plus a few as shown below. All within a few weeks of each other.)
This sort-of combines with the Christian event of Whitsun and also heralds the beginning of England’s school “half-term” holiday that includes yet another statutory Monday off, which is why schools use it in order to accept children missing four days of school when it might have been five…shame, kids. (This p*sses teachers off, too.) The actual date of the religious event of Whitsun / Pentecost is on June 9th this year but hey, never mind.
“Brexit is (like) having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.” – Matt Abbott
“Memorial Day” in the USA This is a federal holiday in the United States for remembering and honoring people who have died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. Hats off to all you guys and gals but I’m not sure I’d want to remember your ultimate sacrifice with a BBQ. Whatever.
“Victoria Day” in Canada
We Canadians are probably the last of the British Commonwealth “Mohicans” to celebrate the birth of Britain’s Queen Victoria. Yes, we are a little slow in updating ourselves but we are working on it. Happy birthday, our Vic.
As all you Linked-Inners out there will know, this noble platform has hopped yet one more step closer to Facebook with a new range of emojis to replace the simple like option. Everyone should have them by May 6th, I’m told. Here they are…
An interesting selection, no? Hello? Wakey-wakey?
To think that dozens or more LinkedIn staffers will have been agonising over this selection for months! Well done folks!
At one time, advertising copywriters were almost the most important people in the ad business. Today, copywriting is offered as a side dish on most VAs‘ admin menus. Professional freelance copywriters today are lucky to get paid the same daily rate their colleagues got back in the 1980s.
Probably the most famous advertising headline ever, written by the legendary David Ogilvy – yet Google would turn its nose up at it.
What has happened? Search engines have happened, that’s what. Consumers no longer read advertisements; they tap in keywords. It doesn’t take talent to write keywords; it just takes a little skill in basic arithmetic.
It’s time for Easter jokes and here are our old favourites once again, but this year I’ve updated my comments to reflect current issues, climates and other thorns in our side and added some new and intriguing thoughts.
Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke? It might crack up. (Or poach the joke.)
(If nothing else your kids will love them, and they’ll be able to explain them to you. Well, maybe not those about Donald Duckrump.)
Here we go…
A white rooster was strutting around the henhouse on Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every colour of the rainbow. He took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the living daylights out of the resident peacock. (Explain that one, or if you don’t understand it ask a bright 8-year-old.)
What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an over-stressed person?
An Easter basket case! (Plenty of those in the White House these days. One in particular.)
How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
EGG-xercise and HARE-robics! (Hares and rabbits are two entirely different animals, but never mind.) [Read more…]
…..
…..
Hi there Mum, I tell you that
I’m sorry I’ve forgotten
To send you stuff to make you fat
And feel just plump and rotten. [Read more…]
Suzan St Maur
Here on How To Write Better, you'll learn how to improve your writing of...
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Potty-mouthed "adult" poems to have you laughing your head off - preferably in the downstairs toilet or bathroom...by yours truly Suzan St Maur.
Amazon bestseller every Holiday Season since 2001! This little book is a firm favourite with horsey families and makes the ideal gift for anyone who loves riding. Compiled by Suzan St Maur.
---------------------------------------------------------The no-bullsh*t guide to writing blogs that boost your brand, business and customer loyalty..."At long last, some common sense writing about how businesses can use blogging effectively." Written by Suzan St Maur.
---------------------------------------------------------"This book is by no means all encompassing, but in it author Suzan St Maur has researched and shared several hundred of the most commonly used terms. Not only do we now know what they all mean but, where appropriate, we also learn their origins – some of which are fascinating and very surprising."
---------------------------------------------------------Great little book for anyone who enjoys dining out and wants to learn the right issues to write about in reviews for Trip Advisor etc. Written by the late Sam Worthington, superb chef, restaurant critic and bon viveur...
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OK, Josh Bernoff -- we take your point ...
The em dash is a bit of a jerk — replace it whenever possible - without bullshit
withoutbullshit.com
Unless — and I admit this is possible — you’re trying to annoy the reader, try not to fall in love — or even in like — with the em dash. So many manuscripts I edit suffer from inflammation of the em dash — it’s rampant — as if these little buggers multiply like cockroaches. … Conti...Good advice, particularly if you work in professional services or the more formal end of general business.
Business Email - First Contact; First Impression - Business Email Etiquette
businessemailetiquette.com
Never squander your first contact by email with a potential employer, contact or vendor! First contact = first impressions! You have one chance to impress!
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