A trip down Book Scam-mory Lane

If you think I’ve been making all this up about unscrupulous publishers fiddling the Amazon Sales Ranks to create instant Amazon number 1 bestsellers, have a read of the following.

I tripped over this chirpy email the other day while decluttering my old email archives, received from – I’m ashamed to say – a publisher who did three of my own titles (without scams). Here it is, with only the names and date redacted…book publishing scam

A lovely scam-vitation from several years ago

Hi Suze

As the last email stated, we have a plan for making
(book’s title) a bestseller on www.amazon.co.uk [Read more…]

A short story for Remembrance Day

THE ROSE

by Suzan St Maur

story for Rememberance Day

The gravel hitting the window caused me to wake with a start. I curled back the curtain and looked out. Silly lad. I silently raised the sash.

“I thought you were going back to the base tonight!”

“I was. I did.” Will stage-whispered. “Then I went out again. Back door, so to speak.”

“Ooh, naughty.”

“It gets naughtier. [Read more…]

Want some help to write your next book? Here’s a useful update

Do you have a great idea for a book, but don’t know how to go about writing and producing it?
Does writing a book seem a lovely idea, but as such a large project is a bit scary – especially if it’s your first one?

Get your book written and published - without the scams

That wonderful feeling when your new book is actually published and out there…me with my latest. (And over-bleached hair – apologies.) Photo by Kate Everall https://www.kateeverallphotography.com/

The help you need to write your book and get it out there

[Read more…]

How to write insults without swearing

UPDATED JULY 20, 2019. Further to our recent article about whether women should write swearwords or not, here is an updated and expanded version of some glorious, clean (well, cleanish) insults sent to me a couple of years ago by my cousin Alyson in Ottawa, Canada.

funny article about insults

William Shakespeare, King Lear

William Shakespeare was a master of insults, as you can see from above. That full quote, said by Lear to his daughter Goneril (why does her name always make me think of a sexually transmitted disease?) goes as follows:

“Thou art a boil, A plague-sore or embossèd carbuncle, In my corrupted blood.” Gee thanks, Dad. More of Willie’s best insults below. Meanwhile…

There was the exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”  He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” [Read more…]

Writing not just about, but WITH mental health issues

This is Mental Health Awareness Week as the media have been screaming out at us. How do you feel about the fact that mental health has been, up until recently, swept under social carpets and is now just emerging from the dustpans as an “OK” subject to talk about?

writers and mental health

As a writer, when you start scratching the surface of your own mental health you are likely to find a few worrying things lurking there.

Not for me to slag off science, PC commentators, Royal Family members and all the others who are hopping up on to the mental health bandwagons. No, bitchy though I am, these people are doing a great job in de-horrifying our views of mental health problems.

Writers and other creatives are almost expected to be a “bit loopy”

[Read more…]

Do you get writers’ block? Or is it really thinkers’ block?

When you say you have writers’ block, is that really what it is? Or is it thinkers’ block?

Thinkers' block or writers' block

How do we get rid of thinker’s block when we’re writing?

Apart from a few partial exceptions (e.g. literary fiction perhaps) writing is not the be-all and end-all of the artsy-fartsy world. It is not even an art form like painting or drawing or sculpture.

Writing is a vehicle: a means of communicating your thoughts to your audience. And they need to be the right thoughts.

Purist trolls: line up here to call me a philistine cow

[Read more…]

css.php