Wedding speeches for everyone – yes, really!

UPDATE March 24, 2019

Now that Spring really is bursting out all over the UK (in some ways flooding out, but that’s another story) it has got us all thinking about the upcoming wedding season.

(That spell of warm weather has also made the trees and bushes burst into flower which although beautiful, has had many tree pollen allergics like me coughing and sneezing and groping for the Piriton. Hay fever, unlike weddings, is NOT romantic.)

gay-wedding-speeches

Speeches for same-sex weddings: yes they can be different, but not for the reasons you might think

Tree pollen or not, it won’t be long now until spring weddings begin to unfold and if you have a role as any of the following officials, I have plenty of help right here for you to get you thinking along the right lines and inspire you with humour and love, so you can create the wedding speech of a lifetime.

Whatever your role in the wedding, there’s speech help for you here

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Stamping out essay writing cheats for students: some hope at last

Some of you may have noticed that I have been ranting for some time about essay (plus thesis, dissertation etc.) writing offered online so students can pay someone else to write their work – cheating.

Hellping university students to cheat

Essay mills to help students cheat: approx 250 million on Google alone

Finally here in the UK someone has taken notice of this easy rip-off for cheating students and is hoping to do something about it. To quote the BBC news website’s headline:

PayPal urged to block essay firm cheats

Will shaking a stick at PayPal deliver any real results? Not in isolation, no. But with luck, it’s a start. [Read more…]

How to write speeches for a same-sex wedding

Having written quite a lot about speeches for almost everyone in “conventional” weddings, I have been asked many times for some tips on writing speeches for same-sex weddings.

wedding speeches at same-sex weddings

If you are making a speech at a same-sex wedding the most important homework you can do is to research your audience very carefully

At first glance that may seem a reasonable question. But having attended a number of same-sex weddings as well as bi-sex weddings, I find that one fact springs up at me time and time again, like the handle of a rake I just stepped on.

That is, what the hell difference is there? Weddings are about two people who love each other who want to formalise their relationship and share that with their families and friends. End of. Did I miss something here?

Anyway still, in some social circles, we’re expected to regard same-sex weddings as, er, different … until such time as everyone gets on with the fact that they’re not. It’s true to say that such things are changed for the better via evolution, not revolution. [Read more…]

Some harsh-but-true words about “bestselling books”

Please welcome back my wonderful, straight-talking friend and colleague from Toronto, Tsufit – who has some startling and true words to say about “bestselling authors,” as I have on more than one occasion. Because it’s so easy to manipulate the system with online book sales, the perceived value of being a bestselling author is shrinking by the day. Over to Tsufit

photo of Tsufit

“Put a brick between 2 covers, add endorsements & great title; it’ll sell.” Tsufit

“You can take a BRICK, slap it between a provocative front and back cover with a great title, add some strong endorsements and your book will sell.”

That’s exactly what I told the participants in my Book Creation Workshop the first time I ran it a few years ago.

It’s certainly not something I recommend or teach. Write a cool book! [Read more…]

Three million reads about writing: check out the most popular here

Just checking out my stats and found that HTWB has now had more than three million page views.

I’m “gob-smacked,” as we say in the UK: surprised, thrilled, delighted and humbled all at the same time. What a wonderful testimony to those of us willing to share our expertise for no financial gain.

3 million page vieww for HTWB

Celebrate with us: more than 3 million page views of HTWB

And what a wonderful testimony to the many writing and allied contributors who have made this humble site what it is. You all know how you are: too many to name individually but covering all aspects of writing that I can’t, from writing fiction to business plans to terms and conditions to bids and tenders to music to poetry and much, much, more.

No ads, no covert links in articles, no need to sign up, so no spam

(But you can buy some books from the Bookshop or right side bar if you like!)

Here are some of the most popular articles and tutorials you can choose from: [Read more…]

Horsey jokes you’ll love, because you need a sense of humour…

Do you love, hate, or tolerate horses? Know someone else who loves them? Whatever your feelings you may as well laugh … and here are some useful opportunities.

The following is a sneak preview of one of my favourite jokes in my forthcoming book, 500 horse laughs for humans … to be published later this year with illustrations by the one and only Roger Penwill whose work is truly superb.

Jokes about horsesIt’s the sequel to my iconic, lovely, popular title The Horse Lover’s Joke Book which has sold nearly into the 6 figures ( a lot for a niche book) and continues to make horsey families laugh even 18 years after it was published.

Today, in the aftermath of International Women’s Day, here is some advice for young women making that tricky choice between their horse, and their boyfriend…

Why horses are better than boyfriends

[Read more…]

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