COLD: Writing From The Heart

This post in our series, “Writing from the heart,” is a dark and disturbing piece that rang many bells for me about a family relationship, and made my heart go out to this talented newcomer to freelance writing from Westchester, New York, USA. Please welcome Jen Persichetti…Sz.

COLD - writing from the heart

“The person who gave me life murdered my soul.”

COLD

By Jen Persichetti

Because of you I am dead behind the eyes
Because of you I am afraid of happiness, and even hold guilt for it
I cry for you and I have no idea why
Maybe its because I am afraid that deep down in a twisted, disturbing and nonsensical way, that I am to blame for your loathing of me
The person who gave me life murdered my soul
My memories of a perpetual love and peaceful home are chalked up to illusions
Guilt creeps in and out of me as I write this, even
Why do you still have a hold on me, my soul….my sanity?
My ability to empathize has been tainted
I recall only being happy for a mere six months, before you put the nail in that coffin too
My subconscious believes you envied the way I felt about _____.
It killed you to see me happy…made you manic, even
You knew it would end. Thus, it was my mind that took the dagger – not my heart
Unfortunately for you, I was able to love again.
You despised that.
My mind, however…holds the vicious haunts that you bestowed upon me
For a long while I pined over the question “what if?”
What if I ignored your tormenting ways, and lived life for me?
The way you did.
What if I dared to disobey you and think for myself just that one time, for the first time?
What if I didn’t allow you to make me feel so minute and powerless, against every shred of dignity that I pretended to have?
You claimed you had reasons why you treated me the way you did; and I obliged
I credit you for your honesty – one can never label you a liar
I’m cold…freezing even, and bitter
Because of you I have become you.

COLD - writing from the heart

Jen Persichetti

Jen Persichetti works in marketing, and holds a degree in journalism from Mercy College. She is also a full member of the International Association of Professional Writers and Editors (IAPWE). She lives in New York state and is married with three young children.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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