Do you talk about “robust?” Maybe you should think again…

Given the sadness in our current climate of tragedies in the UK, here is a small, innocent and slightly rude bitch about something to give us all a much-needed smile…enjoy.

Funny poem about the word "robust"

Now this gallant term is used … For business plans we’re told to trust … And other crap that’s not confused … But merely solid and robust.


Such a “now” word ‘seventeen
Write about this much I must
Gritty word that vents our spleen
Come on, let’s all be robust.

It’s a word than makes me thinks
Of heaving bosoms, heavy busts
Of muscles – not mere little dinks –
Heroic saviours: they’re robusts.

Makes you wonder, doesn’t it
Just how deeply we have sussed
Bull-headed plans not worth a sh*t
But valued, ‘cos they’re so robust.

Government, too has grabbed this word
And uses it when they are fussed
Convince us that they’re not absurd
Because they tell us they’re robust.

Dictionaries tell a different tale
And they’re not being so unjust
When definitions seem to fail
To share what’s great about “robust.”

“Strongly, or stoutly, built”
A term plainly well discussed
Is intelligence fulfilled?
Or is it just about “robust?”

Definitions go on further here
Like “rude, rough, boisterous”
“Let’s make this absolutely clear”
Say politicians … so robust!

Seeing this word so fraudulent
Makes me seethe with pure disgust
It’s little more than “flatulent”
So think, before you say “robust.”

What other current interpretations of “robust” can you share?

And do you love them or hate them? Please let us know in the comments.

For more of Suzan’s funny poems, take a look here

Poetry on HTWB

Mischieverse is coming…

Coming soon: “Mischieverse: rude humour that laughs at life’s irritations

by Suzan St Maur
to be published in 2017
by Corona Books UK
© Suzan St Maur 2017