For sale: Pitbull Terrier, eats anything, loves children

Here is a lovely vintage collection of some politically incorrect classified ads. Enjoy…

 

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FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER

8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG

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FREE PUPPIES:

1/2 COCKER SPANIEL

1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG

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FREE PUPPIES:

PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG

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GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.

NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

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FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.

LOOKS LIKE A RAT…

BEEN OUT AWHILE..

BETTER BE REWARD.

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1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer

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SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE…

ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

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2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:

1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

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TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS

OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO,

EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

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COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED…

ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

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FULL SIZED MATTRESS.

20 YR. WARRANTY.

LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.

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NORDIC TRACK TREADMILL $300

HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY

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BILL’S SEPTIC TANK CLEANING

“WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS”

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SHAKESPEARE’S PIZZA – FREE CHOPSTICKS

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HUMMELS – LARGEST SELECTION EVER

“IF IT’S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!”

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GEORGIA PEACHES

CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb..

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NICE PARACHUTE:

NEVER OPENED – USED ONCE. ONE LITTLE STAIN

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TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?

WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.

STARTING PAY: $7 — $9 PER HOUR.

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EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:

QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS – $175.

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OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB

AND IT’S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.

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JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

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LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.

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ALZHEIMER’S CENTER PREPARES

FOR “AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER”

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OPEN HOUSE

BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON

FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

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More chuckles in writing:

“Banana Skin Words and how not to slip on them”…over 1,500 spelling and grammar tips to perfect your written English

“English to English: the A to Z of British-American translations”…more than 2,000 business and social terms from the USA, the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand

“The English Language Joke book”…hundreds of laughs about this crazy language of ours

Comments

comments

Thoughts

  1. Love the doggy ones, where can I get that pitbull? πŸ˜‰

  2. My sister-in-law has a sweet old pitbull she would never part with. She says she doesn’t need another husband. The dog does everything a husband would do: Hog the bed, snore and pass gas.

    My husband would drive across the pond for that Tickle Me Elmo.

    • LOL at Deb … at least dogs don’t watch football on TV or drink beer! It’s hard to believe that a Pitbull can be “sweet” after all the bad press they have received, but I’m sure they are perfectly OK – it’s the humans that cause the trouble, isn’t it. Thanks for stopping by!

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