A naughty poem about the POTUS and the FLOTUS

Enjoy some somewhat naughty verse based on observations of the USA’s Don and Mel on their recent worldwide travels …

EDIT SUNDAY JUNE 4th: As someone who lives within a short drive of the London (England) Bridge terrorist bombing atrocity last night, I just want to say how devastated I am and I hope in running this light-hearted poem it may help a little to lift the sombre mood in the UK today. Our thoughts are with the victims and their folks. xx

funny poem about the POTUS

Can you blame lovely FLOTUS ignoring his plans, when you think where his hands have been groping ya’?


(With apologies to supporters of the current POTUS. Don’t worry, there are things to laugh about on the other team, too…)

POTUS and FLOTUS in Twenty Seventeen
A mismatch-ed couple, now that is for sure
Age, sex and customs of distance extreme
And lack of each other’s original culture.

One thing in common though, easy to spot
So simple to see why they congregated
Brain cells that simply don’t function a lot
And IQs that seem really “bigly” stagnated.

POTUS now is on wife number three-ish
They get much younger as he yet gets older
But this one’s reluctance to be cosy-up-ish
Makes my regard for her bolder and bolder.

People say that dear FLOTUS was in it for bucks
And OK, that may be true or may be not
But having to smile through what obviously sucks?
That is more than her pre-reckoned work lot.

FLOTUS avoids him when it’s time to hold hands
As has been seen several times in the media
Can you blame lovely FLOTUS ignoring his plans
When you think where his hands have been gropin’ ya?

“Grab by the p*ssy,” POTUS once spoke of women
Makes you wonder just when this was referring to
Was it way before FLOTUS became his prize brood hen
Or was it since, when POTUS was married to?

And then we see manners – or sheer lack thereof
With POTUS striding up, down on various aircraft
Poor FLOTUS struts behind, also ran, so unloved
While he saves his hair from the wind and downdraft.

Now here’s a new talent that POTUS has hon-ed
Shoving other world leaders aside out of our sight
The Montenegro Head Honcho was quickly dethrone-ed
When our POTUS pushed past him and stole his key limelight.

One thing that makes me smile over and over
Is what Vladimir must find highly amusing
No wonder he thinks dear POTUS is a pushover
With such public behaviour so dumb and abusing.

POTUS, stop treating young FLOTUS so badly
It’s worse for your image than those Mexican walls
Suggests that you’re nothing more, so very sadly,
Than a big mouth with small brain and no proper b*lls.

Image with many thanks to Tom Simpson

If you enjoyed this, there are dozens more humorous poems and music articles right here on #HTWB … And if you love horses you’ll find plenty more hilarious anecdotes – true stories, too – right here. Enjoy!

Poetry on HTWB

Mischieverse is coming…

Coming soon … Mischieverse: rude humour that laughs at life’s irritations

by Suzan St Maur
to be published in 2017
by Corona Books UK
© Suzan St Maur 2017




  1. Nasty in a lovely way, like lemons tasting good