Why you shouldn’t beabore anymore…

A humorous look (in verse) at the habit of combining words, to make new longer words … enjoy.

Humorous poem about words

Some say it’s all ’cause of those naughty Yankees, who tend to make English all screwed up and w*nkee


Don’t you just love today’s fashion for
Car-crashing words up like “anymore”
Think of the fun we all could enjoy
By crashing more words up like thelatesttoy?

We could scare folks with concocted words
Like “forf**k’ssake,” or “can’tpolishat*rd”
Or how ’bout “sh*thappens” or even “s*doff?”
Or “b*llsup” or maybe “cocktailmolatov?

What is it that makes us so keen to combine
Words that would otherwise have been just fine
All by themselves looking tranquil and pretty
Now car-crashed together and looking so sh*tty?

Some say it’s all ’cause of those naughty Yankees
Who tend to make English all screwed up and w*nkee
They love writing words that are bigger and longer
Maybe that’s how they hope to make Uncle Sam stronger.

Take words from Stateside like this – “expiration”
Four syllables there to create vexation
What’s wrong with “expiry,” then, FFS?
Only needs three of those for clarity’s sake.

But we digress. Let us telescope
Just think of the savings that could be made
By nixing the space bar for a cheaper upgrade?

Bloody great challenges for people’s spelling
Hundreds of characters, pretty foul-smelling
Where will this lead us? What have we in store?
Now we’ve opened the floodgates with “anymore?”

I’ll tell you something, I’ll never agree
To car-crashing words so irreverently
Call me a prude or a b*tch or a wh*re
But I won’t combine words anytime, anymore.

For more of Suzan’s funny poems, take a look here

Poetry on HTWB

Mischieverse is almost here…

On pre-order now: “Mischieverse: rude humour that laughs at life’s irritations

by Suzan St Maur
to be published September 18th
by Corona Books UK
© Suzan St Maur 2017