Oh, Daily Fail, your writing has excelled itself this time

It seems like only yesterday that we shared a collection of writing whoopsies from the UK Daily Fail website and yet here we are again with another fresh crop. Enjoy. (And Daily Fail staffers feel free to take the wee-wee from our stuff on here. If you dare.)

Funny captions on the UK Daily Mail

The 19-year-old and her beau, 27, wore matching orange sweatshirts as they scooped out a Lamborghini.

Richard is a documentary maker, a book writer and has also written some books.
Do all his books come in two volumes?

The 19-year-old and her beau, 27,  wore matching orange sweatshirts as they scooped out a Lamborghini – which was also in the same shade.
Maybe they wanted to take the seats home for their patio.

Going for it: Bobbing up and down, the placed some chips into her mouth without using her hands, before gobbling down on an enormous hot dog
Not that you’re titillating anything other than taste buds, of course. 

The busy mum-of-three teased at her taut stomach in the midst of the veering neckline that highlighted her perfectly manicured feet and hands
Some neckline. Was there any clothing to go with it?

Home And Away’s Pia Miller soaks up the sun in a swimsuit at Coogee Beach before travelling to Melbourne with her 13-year-old son Isaiah
Did she wear that swimsuit all the way to Melbourne?


…the turkey is served. But was Christmas?

Kate and William will leave Sandringham before Christmas the turkey is served
Glad you served the turkey anyway.

The pair (pictured carrying pheasant in Windsor) are no stranger to shooting
I expect they were giving the pheasant a lift as they knew the way.

The festive snap comes after The Snatch director was granted to let his teenager son with his ex-wife popstar Madonna live in London with him after a nine month dispute in September.
These megastars really do pack a lot into one month. WTG.

For lots more humorous articles, poetry and jokes, click right here on #HTWB

On Friday Nicole took to Instagram to share a picture of a delicious-looking meal she had cooked with her fans
Lucky girl to have so much help with the cooking.

Dressed in a form-fitting nautical-inspired monochrome poloneck which flaunted his slender midriff, Scarlett teamed it with high waist hot pants
Must have been an interesting outfit.


With her tousled blonde locks flowing beside her…shame those extensions weren’t properly attached.

With her tousled blonde locks flowing beside her, she effortlessly picked up a furry cropped black shrug and put it on
Shame those extensions weren’t properly attached.

Adding the caption ‘Festivating dahlings’, Mariah posed in front her glowing Christmas tree, putting on a very busty display as she showed off her diamonte bra.
“Festivating.” I’ve heard it all now. Looks like you’re “bustivating” out of your dress, too.

The diva’s gown featured an intricate floral pattern and several snatches of sheer fabric, including one that exposed a generous amount of cleavage.
Do you mean “swatches?” I sure hope so.

She was accompanied by a sunglasses-wearing pianist who hammered out the bluesy arrangement at a white baby grand, as well as by a chorus.
Were the pianist and chorus always such violent types?

In one image the family of four is crashed out on their sofa. Catherine is on Dylan and Carys is snuggled up to Carys.
Fancy having two kids with the same name.


…reclined on her bed with expert angling protecting her modesty. Angling really is a glorious sport.

Daring to bare all, the former Big Brother star, 48, reclined on her bed with expert angling protecting her modesty.
Amazing what you can do with fishing tackle.

Swaying seductively for the shot, the camera skimmed over her toned figure…
Haven’t you fired that awful cameraman yet?

The reality starlet wowed in her skimpy ensemble as she spread herself on the sheets
I hope she remembered to add some mayo and cut off the crusts.

Michelle Wright, 56, from Beulah, near Newcastle Emlyn, West Wales, pictured, has spent three years rebuilding her home after it was blown up in a gas explosion while on holiday on Crete in September 2013.
That’ll teach it to go on holiday on Crete.

Watch for the next ludicrous instalment of Daily Fail writing goofs!

What writing screamers have you spotted in the newspapers or their online doppelgängers recently? Please share!