HAPPY NEW YEAR from HowToWriteBetter.net

Here’s wishing you love, laughter, good health and success for 2013!

Happy New Year from HowToWriteBetter.net

Welcome to our new series
HUMOR in writing!

And here is the transcript of a telephone conversation which I’m assured is real. Even if it isn’t, it could be. So celebrate the New Year with me by having a good laugh…

Don’t forget to cancel your credit card before you die

Reported in the UK’s Newcastle Evening Chronicle recently:

A lady died this past September, and MBNA bank billed her in October and November for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then in December added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.

The balance that had been £0.00, now is somewhere around £60.00.

A family member placed a call to the MBNA Bank:

Family Member: ‘I am calling to tell you that my grandma died in September.’

MBNA: ‘But the account was never closed and so the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member: ‘Maybe, you should turn it over to your collections section.’

MBNA: ‘Since it is two months overdue, it already has been.’

Family Member: ‘So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’

MBNA: ‘Either report her account to the Frauds Department or report her to The Credit bureau, maybe both!’

Family Member: ‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’

MBNA: ‘Excuse me?’

Family Member: ‘Did you just get what I was telling you . . The part about her being dead?’

MBNA: ‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: ‘I’m calling to tell you, she died in September.’

MBNA: ‘But the account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member: ‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’

MBNA: (Stammer) ‘Are you her solicitor?’

Family Member: ‘No, I’m her grandson’

MBNA: ‘Could you fax us a death certificate?’

Family Member: ‘Sure.’

(fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Happy New Year from HowToWriteBetter.net

If you work in a call center, this dialogue may
(but shouldn’t) ring a bell for you…

MBNA: ‘Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’

Family Member: ‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.’

MBNA: ‘Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.’

Family Member: ‘Would you like her new billing address?’

MBNA: ‘That would help.’

Family Member: ‘ Plot 1049.’ Heaton Cemetary, Heaton Road, Newcastle upon Tyne

MBNA: ‘But, that’s a cemetery!’

Family Member: ‘Well, what the f*** do you do with dead people on your planet?’

The MBNA were not available for comment when a reporter from the Newcastle Evening Chronicle rang them.

Do you think such idiocy might be stamped out in 2013? No, I didn’t think so either.

Have a wonderful year anyway…!

While you’re here, don’t forget to stop by my Bookshop…books and eBooks to help you write better – and to give – from just $2.50 (less than £2.00!)

photo credit: sun dazed via photopin cc

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