How not to write picture captions, by a leading UK newspaper … episode 4

write,picture captions,humor

Hilarious picture caption goofs
from a popular UK newspaper

And yet again without mentioning names (other than nicknames like The Daily Whoops or even The Daily Kardashian), one of the UK’s best loved/hated newspapers really ought to get their picture caption writers some lessons in English syntax and other literary trifles.

Consider the following verbatim examples…and this is the fourth in the series of observations…

Keeping pace: The Sikh Kundalini yoga teacher did her best to stay in step with the Striptease star
Wonder who was faster at getting her clothes off?

Picture perfect setting: Kylie sat on a table covered in fruit for one shot during the day
Hope she didn’t plop herself down on the bananas.

To be expected: It is no wonder the daughter of rock royalty Ozzie and Sharon Osbourne picked the piano to be removed, as the former reality has revealed she does not remember why she got it
Tip: avoid trying to write captions when you’re gonzoed on weed.

Caught in the act: Will Smith is seen cavorting with his Focus co-star Margot Robbie in leaked photos taken in a photo booth at a New Orleans party in October, Will pictured in NYC in August, Margot seen that same month in London
Was time-travel involved, by any chance?

(Prince) Charles asks about the ritual that he has just performed: The water blessing ceremony involved pouring water taken from the Ganges back to its source
Charles probably could have saved a lot of time simply by peeing into the Ganges.

Caught on camera: After showing off her physique, Justin Bieber‘s phone is also shows on his bed
We don’t want to know what Justin Bieber does to his phone. Honest.

He can’t stop: Justin has been caught out a number of times ever since her got to Brazil at the weekend
A tranny? That explains everything.

Evergreen: The four-time Golden Globe nominee, 41, smiled pretty as she toted her iced tea in her Ugg boots
Yuk. Must have ruined the furry linings.

Stony-faced: Imaginative Suri obviously thought she could perk de Klerk up with some battered fish
Would be interesting to know if de Clerk perked her back with a battered fish.

Relaxing: Denise Welch enjoyed a relaxing by the pool in Los Angeles with a book called Willie On The Wing in an 80s-inspired bikini
So what did that naughty cross-dressing willie get up to, then, Denise?

Driving force: It’s not the first time that Kim Kardashian has been pulled over by an officer in LA
No, those LAPD cops are smooth-talking Romeos, aren’t they…

Hide and seek: Clothing designer Adam Selman explained the shoot nearly ran into a spot of bother when the cream dress he’d created for the video went missing while en route to Thailand
Never mind Adam, I’m sure the cabin crew found you something to wear in the meantime.

Elegant: Sharon Osbourne wore an embroidered black-and-white jacket with husband Ozzy Osbourne
He wouldn’t have been seen dead sharing that jacket with her in Black Sabbath days.

Signature touch: Khloe signed copies of the Lipsy catalogue containing the Kardashian Kollection for adoring fans
What do less-than-adoring fans get to wear?

No dramas here! Jennifer was seen out shopping in Rome with her 26-year-old love Casper Smart on Thursday in spite of rumours that they were on the rocks
Shopping was most probably a more comfortable place to be.

Better: Her second performance of track Gypsy appeared far more rehearsed with Gaga getting her chance to wow the audience with her vocal talents as she belted out the ballad while sitting behind a piano
Hope she had an extra powerful radio mike behind all that wood and metal.

Opening with a bang: The star is, of course, not one to do be like those who have hosted before her, so the singer gave the audience more Gaga for their buck singing her opening monologue
You caption writers have been on the weed again, haven’t you.

Turn back time: Here’s Natalie when she was just 16 years old on the square
And practising to be a Freemason, we assume.

The truth comes out: Louise Thompson was forced to admit that she had slept with ‘that guy’ in Monday evening’s episode of Made In Chelsea
Shame I missed that episode: sounds like it was quite a naughty one

Amply charmed: The 29-year-old pop star went make-up free as she sipped from a tiny teacup in a bandeau featuring blue sky and white clouds
Why not just use a normal teacup without the bandeau?

Barefaced: The California Gurls singer let her natural beauty shine through as she enjoyed a relaxing meal in the sand with friends
My teeth hurt from eating in the sand.

Sex kitten: Julie became an international celebrity during her sting on the 1960s Batman series
She must have stung Batman in all the right places.

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