How to write some bantastic new words for 2019

If you’re fed up with the English language and how its sheer lunacy can drive us all doo-lally, here’s a nifty thought or three.

Who says we can’t write our own new words in English?

Writing bew words for 2019English has been around since the fourth century BC. Well, some of its forms have been, anyway

According to Wikipedia The earliest form of English is called Old English or Anglo-Saxon (c. 550–1066 CE). Old English developed from a set of North Sea Germanic dialects originally spoken along the coasts of Frisia, Lower Saxony, Jutland, and Southern Sweden by Germanic tribes known as the Angles, Saxons, and Jutes.”

So why are we constrained in writing new English words?

Bottom line is, we aren’t. Why should we genuflect to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), relying on them to approve new words? Here are a few from its December 2018 list. Surely we can do better than this? 

  • 2ww, n. The period between implantation of a fertilised embryo and the first date on which a pregnancy test will show an accurate result. (Also used by the UK’s National Health Service for the maximum of a 2-week wait between seeing your family doctor with suspected cancer and the hospital appointment to see a specialist, but the OED probably doesn’t know about that yet…)
  • a-tittup, adv. No, nothing to do with brassières but to move in an unlevel, jerking way
  • clucky, adj. Broody, as in chickens, but referring to a woman
  • dickish, adj. OED says it’s obnoxious behaviour, but doesn’t say that it comes from calling obnoxious people “dicks,” or “dickheads.” No prizes for guessing which part of the male anatomy to which that refers
  • estimated, adj. This is new? Means approximate, guessed at, but we knew that already
  • hangry, adj. To be in a bad mood due to hunger. Something connected with blood sugar levels, maybe…
  • mansplain, v. Aha, that one … pompous man explaining something perfectly simple to a woman. How dickish
  • normie, n. An affectionate name for someone who is normal. A dying breed
  • selfing, adj. A way that some plants self-pollinate. I bet you’re glad to know that, huh
  • titivater, n. Not brassières again: someone who fiddles with hair, makeup, clothes etc. in the vain hope they might improve things
  • winky, n. A winky is something to be regarded with a pinch of salt, humour – as in the way we wink when wanting to suggest lightheartedness. Not a euphemism for the male member, as I thought…

Let’s get writing some much better new words!

I’ll start us off with my own creations … please contribute some of your own in the comments.

  • Amehzing, adj. Averagely amazing
  • Bantastic, adj. So fantastic that it’s likely to be banned for its lasciviousness
  • Big Bother, n. New reality TV series that pits rival teams of cage fighters against each other in an east London or South Los Angeles nightclub
  • BlinkedIn, n. New platform for online speed networking
  • Business muddel, n. Business model that hasn’t been thought through properly
  • Casebook, n. Special section of Facebook reserved for crime and forensic specialists to share their expertise as well as what they ate for breakfast
  • Crasshole, n. Someone who is both unpleasant and vulgar
  • Drabulous, adj. Something that should have been fabulous, but wasn’t
  • Fadass, n. A fat badass
  • Foncey, adj. A word that describes contemporary architecture that tries a little too hard to be adorable. (A mix of fancy and poncey)
  • Friendient, n. Someone who is a friend as well as a client.
  • Frustomer, n. See above: a friend who also is a customer.
  • Fumblr, n. Online platform for inexperienced lovers
  • Game On Thrones, n. The game of musical chairs played using a number of toilets
  • Ginterest, n. New online networking platform for the thousands of recently addicted gin drinkers (and retailers)
  • Hool, adj. Cool but hot at the same time
  • Inabblotriate, adj. Food unsuitable for people suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
  • Mothermucker, n. A bad person who messed his mother around
  • Netprix, n. Popular soft porn streaming service. No commercials allowed.
  • Prappy, adj. Crappy, when said in proper, posh company
  • Proffee, n. Business meeting over coffee
  • Shill, v. – to shut up and chill

Now it’s your turn! What better new words can you share with us?

Can’t wait to see what you come up with! Let’s start a whole new HTWB dictionary!