Jokes from the countryside, part 3

countryside,humor,funny jokes

Jokes from the countryside

If you love the countryside, these jokes will give you a good smile for the day…

Seein’ the light
In the back woods of a rural Kansas town, Mrs. Brown went into labour in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery…
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.
“Whoa there Sir!” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down… I think there’s yet another one to come.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.
“No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man… It seems there’s yet another one besides!” cried the doctor.
The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and then asked the doctor, “do ya think it’s the light that’s attractin’ them?”

Pot pourri
A young man visited his sister who was married to a farmer in disadvantaged area of Cumbria.  As accommodation was limited, he was obliged to share a bed with his young nephew.
When the young man came into the bedroom, he saw the little boy kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed.
Thinking this was the child’s religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed.
The child looked up and said, “What are you doing?”
“Well, the same as you’re doing”, replied the uncle.
“Mum’s going to be right browned off”, said the boy.  “The pot’s on this side”.

An elderly farmer lived alone in the Irish countryside with a mongrel dog he loved dearly.  At the grand old age of 16 the dog finally died and the farmer went to see the parish priest.  “Father, my beloved dog has passed away,” said the farmer.  “Would you say a mass for him?”
The priest replied,  “No, I’m sorry, we cannot hold services for animals in our church.  But there’s one of those new denominations in the town.  There’s no telling what they believe, but maybe they’ll do something for our dog.”
The farmer said “I’ll go to see them straight away.  Tell me, do you think £20,000 is a large enough donation to them for the service?”
“Ah,” the priest asked, “now why didn’t you tell me the dog was a Roman Catholic?”

Many years ago an English farmer asked his young son to take their cow over to the bull at the farm on the other side of the village.  As the little lad was leading the cow along, they met the Vicar.
“Where are you going?” asked the Vicar, concerned that a small boy was in charge of such a large animal.
“I’m taking the cow to the bull, Vicar,” said the boy.
“Couldn’t your father help?  Or can I do it?”
“No, sorry, Vicar.  It has to be the bull.”

Old goat
The young couple invited their elderly minister for Sunday dinner.
While the parents were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having to eat.
“Goat,” the little boy said.
“Goat?” replied the startled parson, “are you sure about that?”
“Yep,” said the boy. “I heard Pop say to Mama, ‘might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'”